Episode 124 – Alex – gay dad

00:14
Welcome back, or if this is your first time, thank you so much for taking the time to listen to Surrogacy Australia’s podcast series with me, your host Anna McKay. My guest on this episode was a co-host on the regular webinar series that I run. Those one-hour webinars are free and will take you through the surrogacy process in Australia. You will hear from a surrogate or parent and there are opportunities to type in your questions and we will try to answer them. You can find upcoming dates on our website at surrogacyaustralia.org.

00:44
This episode recorded in October 2025 features Alex. Alex and Carlo became dads to their daughter Elodie in December 2024. Their surrogate Em, who was previously a stranger, was actually initially their egg donor, but became their traditional surrogate, meaning it was also her own egg. They all live near each other on the Sunshine Coast and are planning a sibling journey. They are also long-term attendees of the webinar series with a total of 30 sessions.

01:13
and once co-hosting on one called How to Find a Surrogate. You can find that on episode 23. Alex and Carlo are the founding members of Australian Surrogacy and Donation, which includes a Facebook group of the same name and an annual week of education, community events, story time for kids, and culminates with a gala awards night to celebrate individuals and industry. You can hear from his surrogate, M, in the previous episode, number 123.

01:41
As Alex and I chat about so many things in this episode, I won’t say any more other than I hope you enjoy this episode.

01:48
Alex, here we are, finally a co-host on the webinar series after having attended so many. We’re going to go through your journey now. You’ve shared with me many beautiful photos of your team with surrogate Em, whom we’ve had on the webinar recently. Obviously there was quite a bit before getting to the point of Em offering to be your surrogate. So we’re going to go back to that at the end. These photos here um of Em and her family, I guess, take us from these onwards. What’s happening in each of these photos? Yes, yes. So the one on the left there was we’d been talking to Em and you have to go back and watch Em’s webinar.

02:18
on the podcast because she talks about what we did. Essentially, Em offered to be our Ed Doner and we flew to Perth and met her at one of her AFL games and surprised her at that. So we worked it out with her husband. And this was the next day we went to

02:33
the chocolate factory coming what it was called. But I think it’s yes, Swan Valley Chocolate Factory or something like that. this was so we surprised him the night before and then got to hang out with him and the girls the next day as well. And so that was around the donation offer. And then the one on the right was when Em flew over to Queensland to do embryo creation, right? So this was the day before. And we thought we’ll go to Bribey Island and go for a walk on the beach, that sort of thing, like this remote area. And it’s also the time when she offered to be our surrogate.

03:03
as well. So that photo is quite significant. It’s actually a video, so we’re not really all looking at it, but I managed to sort of get through us on a nice sunny Brisbane day.

03:12
each day. that’s yeah, that’s that was the when they offered the two sort of times when it’s sort of aim offered for us. Beautiful. So yes, so starting out as strangers and then becoming egg donor and then your surrogate. So what a journey you guys have been on. Yeah, it was very, very, very lucky and very special person to us. 100%. I know she feels the same about you guys too. And it’s just amazing that you can start out as strangers and here you are having this special bond and speaking so fondly of each other. It really can grow into that, can’t it? Yeah, no, absolutely. Oh, this one here.

03:42
So this one I threw in there because I thought this was quite a nice one of Em meeting my family, right? So you’ve got Em, Kurt, myself and the girls on the right hand side there and basically my sort of aunt is right in middle, that’s my mom’s sister and her two daughters either side of her and then everyone to the left is like extended family that I barely know but they all live in Perth. So I was like…

04:02
Whilst we’re over in Perth, this was another trip, we visited the family. I wanted them all to meet and her family as well as meet some of my family as well because that’s sort of the family I have in Australia.

04:13
Otherwise they’re all overseas. that was, I just threw that in there because it was a nice photo of everyone sort of coming together, like the two families and it was all a bit weird and awkward, but hey, it was nice that they could all meet each other. I think what’s so powerful about these photos, particularly people listening on the podcast or watching this back, that are brand new at the beginning, as IPs they’re thinking about, I need to find a surrogate. And so that’s a woman. But then you start to expand that and you realize, oh, hang on, it’s usually a surrogate with a partner and kids. But then for the surrogate, then they also realize, oh, wow, these are

04:43
just two people I’m going to have a baby for. I’m having a baby that will be a cousin and a grandchild and so getting to meet your extended family probably helped to solidify for Emma. It’s like oh wow I’m helping to extend the village here I guess. That’s right I was just going to say yeah it’s part of the village there’s the village right there. Beautiful.

05:00
And I think with having like Malaysian background, which is a lot of my Malaysian family on the left hand side there, they are very much about that family and that village and that sort of thing as well. and some of them I haven’t seen for decades. So it’s nice to kind of bring everyone together. Definitely. Did you have any negativity or weirdness or because this might have been the first time in their world that they’d ever come across surrogacy. So they probably had some beginning questions, I’d imagine. Yeah, no, not at all. So I think when I think about that question, we’ve actually been very fortunate on

05:28
in all sort of aspects generally of our family, especially with this group, because a lot of them are like, oh, you’re having a baby with another man and some of them are just going, you know what mean? It’s slightly different. They’re not like close family people. So it was nice to be able to have them ask questions and things like that. It wasn’t really the place that they drill us on it as well. So they knew of what was going on. It was nice for everyone to meet everything. And they’re all my family on that side are really lovely as well. So I like to think that they were very welcoming across the board as well to Emma and her family.

05:57
Good. And then we move on and so often is in surrogacy teams sometimes come up with a name and so your team name? Team Cake Pop. So Cake is Carlo, Alex, Kurt, Emma. So that was the cake part. I can’t remember. I think it just was weird to call us Team Cake. So it’s like.

06:12
And Ems loves peas. you can’t, I don’t know, you might be able to see it says featuring baby sweet pea. That was unborn Elodie at the time. Yeah, as well. we had, was when I think this is the still the Airbnb she was staying at after she moved from WA to Queensland. And I thought let’s get us all together with photo. And I love that because it’s just, we’re having so much fun in that as well. Definitely. And you can see Ems kids are really comfortable with you and Carlo that you’ve become almost like uncles really. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, that’s exactly, that’s exactly how they see us is uncles and Elodie.

06:42
very much is a cousin to them as well. Beautiful. And so then we move on to the journey of, I’m guessing, embryo transfer with life fertility up in Queensland there? That’s correct. Yeah, that’s transfer day. I cannot remember. I think this was first transfer. So we went twice. We had to go. So number two worked for us. I think this was the first transfer and we had little stickers made up saying, making magic. And that had like our four faces on there. So I don’t know whether you can see that. It’s very clearly. We were sticking those stickers and handing them out to everyone in the clinic. So now when we go back and we’ll talk about sibling journey as well.

07:12
when we go back, they always say, oh, we still got your sticker, it’s on my screen, you know, it’s on my file, you know, so it’s quite nice that the people working there would always work kind of something to relate us relate back to us as well. So it’s nice to be known when you walk into somewhere like that.

07:25
for some silly little thing. And the reason why we did the stickers is because when we were doing egg collection, Carlo had this fear that things were going to get mixed up. So he was like, I don’t want them just riding on the tubes or whatever they call them on the test tubes or whatever they take them in. He wanted to stick the stickers on. So they stuck stickers on everything as well. So when it’s transported from the hospital back to the clinic, that was the main reason for doing these stickers. And then we’re like wearing them and giving them out to everyone as well. And the girls loved having them. yeah. And I think I did a similar thing for my uh one of my egg donuts.

07:55
dressed up in a Wonder Woman costume and I had little gifts for all of the staff at the clinic because you realise that it’s not just the embryologist and the doctor, it’s all the admin staff that get to know your journey and in some ways you’re creating that army of supporters by them being invested in your journey and wanting you to succeed and for them celebrating when you become dads as well I guess.

08:16
Absolutely. It’s nice. Right. And so we move on with the pregnancy and I’m guessing this is a gender reveal because it’s got a balloon saying girl. This was lovely. Had like all our close friends and family up in Queensland there, Em and the girls, and we did a smoke was going off and we just did the party popper things and it was really, it was really nice to have everyone there. It was a beautiful sunny day on the north side of Brisbane. That’s when we found out as a girl, obviously, Em had been keeping it quiet for so long and she knew and she wanted to organize the thing. So we um

08:45
We did that and it was really nice to have everyone there. And again, everyone’s sort of there going, And Em’s there as well. So it’s like all the other family, the Australian East Coast family as well on Carlos. So that was really lovely. Yes. And how was the pregnancy for Em? Was it a hard pregnancy or similar to her own? So I think out of all of them, this was one of her better ones. Obviously we had some, like obviously the usual sickness. And I think one of our biggest challenges was around Em’s iron levels.

09:14
during her pregnancy. And one of the challenges was, is because the threshold was like, it was just above the threshold to get an iron infusion at the hospital. And she was really feeling like terrible. So we’re trying to find a solution for this thing. And then eventually we found a doctor who comes all the way up to the Sunshine Coast. We go see this doctor and she’s like, oh yeah, we don’t have any like saline fluid. And then we’re like, what? It’s like, this is the whole reason why we’ve taken a whole day of work, changed everything around, brought him up to do it. And so we’re quite.

09:42
disappointed with that. In the meantime, it was like there was hope and then it’s back to like being like not having the opportunity to do it. uh Long story short, we eventually managed to find a place to do it. We have found some saline and it was a beautiful like IV clinic. They do like vitamins and things like that through IV, but they also do gender reveals in their room where they turn the room pink or blue or whatever. And they do ultrasound and like the

10:05
whatever it’s up to now, 5D imaging that they do or whatever they call it. So it’s nice and it was a beautiful, comfortable bed and laid in there, better than being a doctor surgery and we finally managed to get it done. So yes, but that was one of the challenges through the pregnancy. But generally overall, we had a, think overall we had a pretty, pretty great pregnancy on all sides. And I know you guys are particularly supportive and did things. So we might come back to that one.

10:30
the types of things or people might like to type that in as a question of what type of supports did you provide? And so then we’ve got some photos you did some professional photo shoots with maternity. yeah, we did some down. This is Bribey Island. It was like 430 in the morning. We got there to capture that beautiful morning light before the sun came up.

10:50
And our photographer, Fantastic, did a wonderful job. think it was really nice to be down there and have these photos taken. It’s a nice little pre thing as well to treat us all to. So, and I think I’ve got some nice little family photos around this as well with the four of them.

11:03
Definitely. And then that brings us to the day of birth. So what was that like for you all? Oh, this was an amazing day. Like even just looking at it, I’m like, hmm, yeah, that was a good day. You became a dad. Yeah, that’s right. So this photo specifically is Em’s holding Elodie. She’s got the girls on the phone and just showing them.

11:21
Olivia and Evie at Elodie. So this was their first chance to sort of meet Elodie. It must have been around about three or something like that, half an hour after, 45 minutes, an hour up. Who knows what the time was, let’s be real. One minute’s three o’clock and Elodie’s been born, the next minute’s 8pm, like what happened? And we went in the day before and it was funny actually, were, this was the Sunday and actually Elodie is 10 months to that. So this is exactly 10 months ago. We’re to meet Em in the afternoon, but we’re racing around on a Saturday afternoon.

11:51
because we were throwing a community Christmas event on the Sunday. We were like driving to someone else’s house to pick up a Santa suit, going to Kmart and buying all these little gifts for all the kids, you know, and then we’re like, we’re coming in, we’re coming in, we’re coming in, we’re like, we didn’t know what was going on, but we were meant to be going to Ems in the afternoon, we got there about.

12:08
I know, four o’clock or something like that. And this is the day before. And Em’s like, I’m just going to call the midwife. And we’re like, what? And she’s like, I haven’t eaten anything today. And we knew that was Em’s sign that she’s going into labor. So midwife was like, come to the hospital. So we all jumped in the car, went up to the Sunshine Coast University Hospital where this photo is taken. We were good. We had some time. So Em stayed the night. and I went home, rearranged the whole event that we’re going to be meant to be hosting on the Sunday, got someone else to pick them up, pick up all this stuff, which was amazing. That’s what community

12:38
does right? You throw this stuff at someone and you can still have the event which is really lovely. Obviously us not being there everyone was like going hmm I wonder what’s going on so we’re 12 days early right so

12:50
It was around about the time when it needed to happen. So the birth was unbelievable. Being able to be in that room the whole time, spending literally the entire morning and all afternoon doing things for Em, going in and getting her hot chips and then being too late back that she then didn’t want them. you know, which was fine because I didn’t go to waste because when Kurt arrived, like, let’s be honest, almost at the 11th hour, at least he had something to eat. And then after Elodie was born, she’s like, where’s my hot chips? So it’s like the characters of Em

13:20
and in the moment things that have been said it’s just it was just so lovely it wasn’t really formal it wasn’t really official obviously it was the baby was being born Elodie was being born but to be there and witness that I knew it’s gonna be something like I’ve never obviously witnessed before but it was like 10 times better than that like in terms being there.

13:39
Like I was afraid I was going to pass out and I’ll be all dramatic because I’m like not great with things like that. But I was like, oh my God, this is the best thing ever. It was phenomenal. Yeah. And I guess it’s that balance between this is your friend, Em, that and you wanting to support her in this, know, labor can be hard work, but then also this moment of, my gosh, we’re becoming dads and this is our friendships come together to create life and we’re our child’s about to come into this world. It’s just.

14:04
As you say, like nothing else, right? Yeah, I just, yeah, it’s hard to be able to witness that. It was just like all the years, like, of, like for me, it’s been almost two decades of trying to create a family through different, different avenues. And obviously I stopped halfway through that. But this was the moment that for me, I’ve been waiting for, for almost two decades. So it was phenomenal that we actually got there. You did. Yeah. Beautiful. Very beautiful. Definitely. For people listening that are at the very beginning who might be wondering, even questions like, are you in the room?

14:32
when your child is born. And from this person that was a stranger, I think this is a credit to teams and basically all the teams I’ve known in my many years. Yes, the IPs are in the room. I mean, perhaps they’re not down the business end if the surrogate doesn’t want them down there, but you are absolutely in there supporting because as surrogates, we want to see you become parents. We want to hand over that baby. I’m guessing, I don’t know if you’ve ever had questions like, oh, did it feel weird to be in that room or did it feel like the most natural thing in the world? Yeah, honestly, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

15:01
I like, can I get more involved? And you know what? I mentioned it in her webinar as well and you’ll hear all about it when you go and listen to that. But our midwife was amazing, know, she’s been a surrogate before. She did so much to just make sure it went so smoothly that if you noticed her doing something

15:17
There was no intention that no one else would have noticed this, only because I’m like going, shut you there, what’s going on there? Like I’m nosy with what’s going on. And just the way, you know, where Carlo and I in that photo, Kurt was sat at Em’s head end on the same side. it was, and we’re just kind of the three of us sat there and eventually sort of rolled sort of onto a sort of side sort of thing on back sort of side. So, and her knee was up and the sheet was down. Then all of a sudden, whoop, out popped Elodie, you know? So was like, there was the, it was so discreet and so nicely done. And that…

15:45
Honestly, the credit to our midwife and everything she did also for Em to make her feel comfortable and calm, relaxed as best she can in that moment. And there was one point when obviously we’re in the final stages of labour and Em goes, obviously, eyes are closed. She’s like, why am I doing this? And I went by for, just open your eyes. And I was like, what else could you have said? you know, just open your eyes. We’re just sat there, we were waiting and yeah, that’s…

16:13
There were some key moments during that birth that really stood out and I will always remember. Just open your eyes and see the dads that doing this for and this baby’s on her way. the midwives are a special breed and really powerful and

16:27
make such a difference to surrogacy teams. And I’m pretty sure it’s a special moment for them too. That’s probably a good time to say that I’ve actually done a webinar quite recently with three midwives. So if that’s a great resource for surrogacy teams to listen to and to share with their midwives. And anonymous also asked a question, I might just answer that one, that the psychology part can feel scary and overwhelming. What’s the best way to overcome that? My instant thoughts on that are get used to the psychologists. And I’ve had them on as a webinar co-hosts and podcast episodes. So.

16:56
realising that they’re just humans and they’re there to help you. I think doing counselling before you actually do the official mandatory counselling can be really good to get to know a psychologist. Actually, while we’re just on that, Alex, counselling, any thoughts that you have on counselling during surrogacy? Yes, big massive do it. um Yes, you got a mandatory counselling in Queensland, you’ve got relinquishment counselling as well at the end, which isn’t really counselling, it’s just making sure you’ve got a cock, agree that there you’ve got a baby coming.

17:22
for stuff so it’s not really counseling. We did our mandatory counseling at the beginning, it was great and we were like as you spend time looking at people’s stories and seeing the unfortunate teams sort of fall apart and reasons behind it, not everyone shares that as well, or you hear about it, it’s like often when you re-look at it and go I wonder why they broke down and you start, there’s a number of reasons why things can fall apart and we were really keen to not have that happen in our journey or in our team so we

17:50
requested, um, attend whether she, whether she had any reason to or not, a counseling session every, every trimester so that there was at least an opportunity to, like, she could do one anytime she wanted, if she wanted more. And most of the time, she’s like, I don’t need one. I’m like, let’s just chat for 10 minutes. Then we’ll spend the rest of the time chatting with the.

18:07
the counselor. So it gave her a chance and sometimes just the counselor would come up with things that we weren’t all thinking about or doing. And even for us, it’d be like, are you doing these sort of things? Are you looking to, are you doing that? And we’re like, oh, that’s a good idea. Maybe we should do that now moving forwards into the fourth try, into the third trimester and things like that. then, and the third trimester, talk about birth and then the fourth trimester that comes after birth as well. So it was really great to one support end. That was the main purpose. We got a lot out of it as well, being able to have the conversation with our counselor and

18:37
keep us on track with making sure that we’re okay and that we’re still doing all the things that we wanted to do and promised we would do for Emma and her family as well throughout that journey.

18:46
So yeah, a big massive, it’s an extra two grand in the grand scheme of things. I was like, money well spent, even if we never used it. Like it’s a bit of an insurance policy and I think it’s really important to leverage that because it’s really sad when things fall apart. And for us, it was so critical that we had a really nice extended family for our children for the rest of their lives. And let’s be honest, like.

19:08
their children going down the next generation and Em’s children’s children, know, and that sort of thing. Where does that sit and the connections between the two families? So it’s not just us and Em and Kurt, it’s about our children and then the generations that come after that as in terms of what that looks like going forward. yeah. That’s beautiful to be that forward thinking. And that model is what we recommend for SASS teams too to have a session.

19:31
each trimester and then something post-birth but also extra if the surrogate requests it. But I have to say your team has a bit of a saying in terms of counselling. Does that seem like that is? Yeah, if in doubt, cancel it out.

19:43
There go, folks. So I suppose it’s okay to be nervous about counseling at the beginning because it’s probably an unknown and to be unknown what the counselor is going to be like. I guess my suggestion then would be just jump in and have a session and get to know them and then they’ll become more familiar. And then we’re finishing off some of these birth photos here. We’ve got this beautiful photo on the left with M holding Elodie, which is always lovely to see. But there’s something else going on in this photo. Alex, tell me more. Yes.

20:09
We talked about currency in surrogacy for Em, it’s a Christmas ham. So Elodie being born in the middle December, perfect timing, because Em wanted to be able to eat Christmas ham on Christmas day. And it was a grid, know, kilo for kilo, pound for pound. luckily, well, luckily Em didn’t birth Elodie at the weight of that, because I think it’s about a five and a half kilo ham. But we couldn’t get anything smaller, that was a nice one. So yes, we walked in, wheeled in the pram with the ham in the pram.

20:40
And then presented and it’s wrapped up in a hospital blanket. It was like, here’s that baby. And we’re like, here’s your ham, right? Exchange done, contract fulfilled. So yeah, we had a lot of fun with things like that along the way as well, right? Because there’s a lot of emotions, a lot of seriousness that happens, know, the legal stuff and this, this and that. And then like we had so much fun along the way as well. And Em has such a great spirit and a great sense of humor. You know, every month we would send her a box with

21:07
different things in it at the stage of her journey. She loves like sour, sour Skittles, not sour Skittles, freeze dried Skittles, right? And I made the mistake of buying a bulk load of sour ones. I was like, damn it, she’s got these. So anyway, in the box every month we’d go for a t-shirt and it was always a funny t-shirt. So something that was related to us as a team or Ms told us, some of them are not really appropriate for this forum, but hey, if you want to know about it.

21:33
Ask Em, she can show you the photos later. But yes, absolutely. We had a lot of fun along the way and this was kind of the final bit of fun as well in terms of the birth part as well. this was next day. Oh, was it next day? No, I can’t remember now.

21:49
It all a bit of a blur, but this was either we’re only hospital for the day of birth and we left the next day. So we went there very long. And it was M saying, can you hurry up? I want to go home. You know, and we’re like, gotta wait for the doctor. Gotta wait for the physio. Gotta wait for a tapu. So M was ready to go, I think, 9am that next morning. And we I think we left about five o’clock in the evening eventually. So M was like, right, let’s go. I’m done. Let’s get Christmas going.

22:16
But yeah, that’s the currency there. I did that. Lovely. And then life moves on and we’ve got lots of beautiful photos of you guys continuing to have catch ups, but you did some newborn photo shoots as dads, hey? Yeah, that was lovely. That was just at home. Nice to have Elodie and do some little shots as well. Plus as a family. Yep. And then catch up. So photos of Em holding your daughter. Yes. Yeah. So that was, that would have been just around, I think that might have been next day on the left there. Definitely before Christmas. The lead up to, because Em was doing an amazing thing of it.

22:44
breast milk. The 195 litres she expressed, which is phenomenal, over about three months as well. And we’ve still got the last remaining little bit in the freezer. One little bag left. I can’t come to use it all yet. Maybe birthday milk. Birthday milk, yeah, make the cake from it or something like that. So Em was coming up with, know, eskies of milk and then obviously coming for post-birth cuddles as well, you know, having that.

23:10
time to connect and still let her body know that the baby’s here. It’s okay, which is a phenomenal thing to go through. And the one on the right there, it must have been, I feel like that was December, I think between Christmas and New Year, that was at Bluey’s World in Brisbane. So we wanted to take the girls to Bluey’s World. Elodie came along as well, and that was just end with her. I think she might have banjo ears on, I can’t remember, can’t quite see it. And then obviously that was a nice picture of her holding Elodie whilst we were there.

23:37
But yes, catch-ups time with Em. Yes. This one. Oh, you did put them both in. So we went to Melbourne with Em in February. Em was very keen to start looking at, obviously we speak a lot about our business journey and the things that we’re learning about business, about how we live our lives, et cetera. And we wanted to take Em to experience some of the trainings that we’ve done. So we went down to Melbourne with Em and this photo is great. Like Carlos, bastard slave, he’s repped as a…

24:03
the tired dad and there’s N pumping in the background on this flight down to Melbourne. So I thought it was quite a funny couple of photos, you know, just of us again, just traveling together down to Melbourne, continuing doing stuff that we enjoy and the reason why we connected over, you know, over these things that we have in common. yeah, this is where spending time together like that as well. Yes, the friendship continues and there’s a pumping surrogate or a pumping mum, you take it with you everywhere, even on planes. absolutely.

24:30
And then parentage order day is what I’m guessing here. Yes, yes. So this is parentage order. That’s our lawyer, Kate Cherry on the right. And then obviously the four of us with Elodie. We left our parentage order to the very last minute. Like literally we lodged it at the court on the last day that you could possibly do it. And the reason for that was Carlo really wanted to spend some time getting the affidavits right, really creating a story for Elodie to look back on as well. At some point she’s going to look at all of this paperwork.

24:58
Initially, we were going to do it really super quick after the first 28 days, you can lodge your application to the courts and then get it done because I want us to get a passport so we could go over to Jersey in the Channel Islands in the UK to go and see my dad because I really wanted him to meet Elodie because he’s not well and we thought time might be on our side at that point. So one thing or another, just were delay, delay, delay. And then this obviously was at literally the six month mark and that we lodged it in. And it’s a really beautiful affidavit there.

25:25
Khalid’s created. did it, you know, so it’s a really nice thing that she can look back on and read. It references the Velveteen Rabbit and, you know, being all tatted and born, but being real and things like that. So it was a really nice way to do that. But this was a lovely celebration. And then we did a little lunch afterwards as well.

25:41
Yeah, I think that’s quite common for teams to have that catch up. then catch ups continue. looks like everybody hanging out together here in M’s house, is it? This is our house actually. This is the opposite way around of where I’m sat at the moment. This was really nice because this was Valentine’s Day, hence the hearts, the lights and the fun. And then we’ve got there like M and L.A.D. cuddling on the left. And then we’ve got Karla’s best friend of 20 years, Sarah, there playing with the girls. And then we’ve got Kurt and Luke there talking about probably an RL or something like that.

26:10
that and then kind of washing up. So I was like, I just loved that photo of like, everyone’s there just, you know, just chilling out and enjoying themselves, you know, so it’s just another catch up. We did a nice Valentine’s Day, like dinner for everyone. So that was kind of nice to do a little themed thing as well.

26:25
And again, for people who are new, just looking at what surrogacy can look like post-birth and how this just becomes two or more families hanging out together and just spending time in informal ways. Yeah. And then these are just Ems girls loving Elodie, Elodie loving them, Kurt spending some time with Elodie as well. And it’s really nice to see all of them interact. And it’s really interesting because Ems girls, they’ve away, they take it or leave it when it comes to Elodie. But now she’s becoming a bit more interactive. And this was a couple of weeks ago on the left.

26:54
They’re holding her, playing with her, now Elodie’s pulling their hair and they’re like, ah, you know? So it’s great to see that interaction as well between all the three of them.

27:04
Elodie and her cousins as well. Beautiful. And then I think we’re nearly at the end, there’s now Elodie is a part of these photos of Teacake Pop, hey? Yeah, there we go. There we thought we’d take another team photo of us all together having Mexican that night. Yes. And those t-shirts say the sibling journey, which is the next part of what you’re up to, yes? Yes, that’s right. Yes. So we’re working on a sibling journey at the moment. So we’ll see what that looks like over the coming months. you know, we’re, Em was very kind to offer to go again. So that’s really, that’s really nice.

27:34
I mean, it’s such a special thing to do once, but to go again. And that’s gonna remember this as M’s third surrogacy pregnancy as well. Obviously she had previously done it with another friend in WA. It was even before Elodie was born back in, think it was around about November, we were about to go to a midwife appointment. She’s like, let me know what you want to do about a sibling Jenny. And we’re like, you can’t just drop it on us like that.

27:56
It’s not up to what we want. Yes, we want, we joke with like going to four and we’ll see what happens after two. uh But essentially, we’re like, okay, yes, we would love to do a sibling journey. then she’s like, okay, I this, this, this. Can we do it before like this time, like next year, whatever. So, and I think.

28:13
Because Em’s obviously planning out, she sets herself goals and she’ll smash almost every single one of those goals every year. And obviously she’s like, I want to do this in 2027, so I want this to happen before then, et cetera. So this one is very, very special to be able to do that again. yeah, loving it, loving it. Beautiful. Things in chat there. Alfie joked that the third kid will be a calendar invite.

28:39
That wouldn’t surprise me though, to be fair with them. She’ll probably do something funny like that. This is the window of time. uh RSVPES on. That’s right. Meet at the clinic at this time. at the clinic for embryo insertion. Yes. You technically don’t even need to be there, right? Technically. I’ll answer one question by anonymous that says, Anna, as a surrogate,

29:00
Do you feel the room was busy or too crowded when you gave birth? I suppose we all birth in different ways and it’s okay for surrogates to voice how they birth. I think I’ve worked out, although I did hypnobirthing, I think talking and laughter are part of how I birth. It’s distraction techniques. I have a party. I’d home birth before my son and had my parents present and…

29:22
student midwives so no there’s always lots of people when I birth and I think that’s part of the joy it probably is a distraction technique and it makes the birth more joyful to have so many people invested.

29:32
Alex, did you want to say anything there? Did it feel like too many people in the room? I feel like we had a lot of people, because obviously there was M.Kurt, Carlo and myself, and then we had our birth photographer, we had our midwife, we had a second midwife. oh Then we had, I think it was eight people, nine including Elodie. We had the cold blood collection, we were doing the freezing the cold blood in the cells for stem cells for later, whatever. And so think there was nine of us in total that were there in the room at any one point. So it was really nice. So I didn’t feel like it was too many people were doing their job. Obviously, the

30:02
The one was the lady coming, the collector who does the cord blood, because they want to collect it pretty much straight away. And we’re like, no, we don’t want, we want more to go through. So we gave, said we’ll do 90 seconds and then, and then you can cut cord. So they want it, you know, pretty much straight away because they want to collect as much as possible. You know, we had planning, it was fine. So, but it was just, what are those like 60 seconds, 70 seconds? I’m like, oh my gosh, what’s going to happen? It’s like 90 seconds, 90 seconds. like, okay.

30:31
That was the weirdest part, but like, it’s fine, I understand it, but it was like, it was just so weird because we’re like, oh, the baby’s born! they’re like, 90 seconds, we’re like, cut the cord! And Carlo did cord cutting, so Carlo cut the cord, and then I had first hold after Em had skin to skin first, so that’s how we decided to do it. And then we’re like, we do anything with the placenta, and we’re like, obviously hadn’t discussed it before, and I’m like, do we want to stick it in a plant or turn it into a picture on the wall, you know?

30:57
But no, we decided nothing. We weren’t going to do anything with it. Yes, people can possibly see it if you’re watching this visually. Up here, this frame here is of Baker. I’ve had my placenta encapsulated three times.

31:09
And therefore they also dry out the umbilical cord. Baker’s was very short. And so that little arch, like a rainbow, and you might be able to see here, that’s Baker’s umbilical cord. So I’ve kept that, not him, but he probably doesn’t need it. No, he it really. I’m just going to answer one question there that Dario’s typed in. there any steps that should be completed before joining SAS? Like, do you have to have your donor lined up or have seen an IVF clinic? Absolutely not. No, we can guide you through all of those steps. People do come to us at various stages of things complete, but no, we can guide you through that.

31:39
particularly when you get connected with a mentor, they can help give you suggestions about all of that too. So I hope that helps answer that one. There is one more question, but we’re gonna come back to that. I wanna go back to way back at the beginning, Alex, briefly, try and summarize your journey for us in terms of.

31:53
coming to a surrogacy in Australia and did you have any false starts before connecting with him? Yeah, good question. So we started, so second date, I said to Carlo, and this is what I’m doing. So I’m going to create my family through surrogacy. You can either get on board or not get on board because I think what had happened like six months prior and like a five year relationship. And that’s the journey we had started exploring. And I was like, oh God, I can’t be bothered to meet someone new. Now this person’s come into my life. And I was like, now I’ve got to do that whole dating thing first. I’m like, this is the way it is, either in or out.

32:24
Right? I’m not time to waste here. that’s kind of what happened. I said to Carla a second day, was like, this is what’s happening. She goes, oh, maybe we need a bit of time. And then COVID hit. So that bought him some time by default. we started looking in 2022. We went to a growing families event in Brisbane. And we met some of the local people there and we went for a dinner and…

32:45
like after the event, there was a couple of star guests there and a couple of intended parents and they’re like, do your introduction post in the Facebook groups, you know, do your introduction post. And we’re like, went home and I’m like, okay, we’ll do it. Cause we’ve been sitting watching for like ages. And then I go, why does everyone sit there and watch for so long? Right? What do you have to watch? Right? Everyone doing their intro post, just go scroll them, find the best one, copy it, and then post your own. So we eventually spent like three days writing this introductory post. oh

33:09
perfect and obviously no chat chibi tea back then so you had to write it from here and here. Find the perfect photos from like the decades before and things like that. So we spent about a week doing this thing and then we’re like, oh, should we do it? So we eventually posted. I think it was like October 22 or something like that. And then we’re like, whoa, everyone’s messaging us and we’re doing renovations at the time up our ladder and replying to people and then we’re painting and reply to people. know, it was just amazing. Like, couldn’t believe it. Like, this is such a nice group of people. And then that’s where, you know, started to get some people connect with us as well through that

33:39
post essentially in the different groups. yeah, we had a few ups and downs before M we had probably we had two offers from the surrogate from surrogates to surrogate officers offers. And it just goes to show that sometimes they don’t work out. It was meant to be because we knew that well, we didn’t know but it was meant to be because obviously M hadn’t hadn’t sort of come onto the scene yet. We also had a conversation with a donor that, you know, due to some hereditary things that we didn’t want to proceed. So we had we said thank you, but no. And that’s because we didn’t want to take the risk with you know,

34:09
that being passed down the line. So sometimes people go, but isn’t that a bit selfish because, you know, anyone can create children in…

34:15
random ways and they don’t do all the testing and things like that. And I go, but we have the opportunity to, and we want to make sure we give our child the best start in life, you know, as we possibly can. So we were very big on doing PGT testing of embryos and doing all the genetic testing for ourselves, all that sort of stuff as well. So that was a donor that we said no to. And then we had a surrogate that completely ghosted us as well, which was very weird. We were just having great conversations and they were like, let’s catch up on Zoom and whatever. And then we’re like, yes, let’s do this time.

34:45
out there like already like everything’s set up perfectly you know because the first time you’re meeting and then that just never happened and then I’m like hey you’re joining and it never happened then days later we’re like hey and then we’re like maybe we should just leave this because a bit weird now we keep messaging and not hearing anything back so that was kind of you know a bit of a false start as well and then you know when you first start you get excited that someone even wants you know a surrogate even wants to talk to you like oh my gosh like

35:08
uh Dating again. Dating again, you know, they’re like, oh, wow. And then we had uh one of our biggest false starts with someone else. We ended up going all the way through individual counselling. So we were quite very much, sorry, dating very much on the journey. And then after our individual counselling and before our joint counselling, our counsellor was like, you need to tell the boys this thing. And it was something we’d already discussed and it hadn’t been fully declared to us what this thing was. We had to make this massive decision as to

35:38
whether do we continue or do we not continue because this could have lifetime impact.

35:43
on us as a family and a team because that was what we wanted. This whole holistic, and I spoke about it before, this big extended family for the rest of our lives and generations going forward. And when you think about it like that, you go, this one chance we might have to have a baby, we’re going to just say no to. So it was a really, really hard decision. And we had to say, look, no, we’re going to leave it here. Thank you. And we appreciate you eventually telling us. But we had to leave it at that point. And that was probably really hard. I remember getting in the

36:13
afterwards we just both in tears. It was really hard because you go this is like 14 months and then you’re like now we go all the way back to the beginning and start all over again do we? So yeah so but it was you know it’s one of those things it just it was meant to be because then after that look what happened.

36:27
And then we walk in on the beach with them and she’s like, hey, I’ll be your surrogate. Couldn’t have happened any better. Right now where we are now. So when you look back in hindsight, you go best decision we made at that time as well. So it was meant to be. think that’s really powerful for people to hear in terms of it’s okay to say no to a surrogate because sometimes IPs are like, this might be the only chance I ever get. as we’ve said before, I was actually one of those surrogates too. I was initially dating two guys different who I carried for Sean and Jeremy, who lived in Melbourne and they

36:57
said no to me, just as we were starting to get ready for the IVF and all the counselling process. And so yeah, that was really hard for us all. mean, well done for them, basically saying, Anna, you’re not the right fit for us. It’s hard, but I’m glad because then we each have eventually find our own teams and have the journey that we’ve had. So yeah, you for sharing that. works out in the end and you just need to give yourself a bit of credit and have a little faith in yourself as well. And that if you’re making the decision, you’re making the decision for a reason. And that absolutely was

37:26
best thing we could have done. mean, it’s just a blur now, it doesn’t really matter because I go look at where we are now, look at the amazing journey that we’ve had over the last 18 months with Em and her family, look where we’re going now. We’re constantly catching up, we talk about other stuff as well, it’s not just all about the surrogacy staff, we’ve got great common interests in terms of business and things like that as well. So it’s fantastic now to be supporting each other all in other ways rather than just in going through a surrogacy journey.

37:54
One question that’s popped up is do you roughly remember how long the process took from perhaps your surrogating and the counseling and legals until birth? Do you have that roughly? Yeah, so it would have been, I think we created embryos in November 23, I think. I think that was around about then. So about one year from the time we created embryos. So then we did surrogating before that. It have been around about Easter, just after Easter time. So about 18 months with M from that point. then…

38:21
like two years from the time we started. When we first went, right, we’re doing this and we put ourselves out there, right? Which is the term that people often use. There’s about two years in total from that to that, which is about right. And I’d say that’s about average. It’s a marathon on the sprint, as we say, isn’t it? That’s right. 100%. Yes. Let’s do one of the anonymous questions that they’d like to know about your worst day in the process.

38:42
I’m sure saying no to that first surrogate was hard. Well, it definitely was hard. Is there anything else that springs to mind that was particularly challenging with the pregnancy or anything in this process? Yeah, as I mentioned before, iron, Em’s iron level was being low and she was just bothering me out and she was like, and it was so hard to see her struggling, she would say, just want the will to live. I’m like, is there anything you need? like, the will to live. like, you know, it’s so.

39:08
I know, obviously in the joking sense, but you could see it and it was just every time we tried to, we were so close and then another blood test and no numbers aren’t enough, try and find another solution. Then that doctor just screwed us over and we’re like, and it was just like, we’re so close, then yet so far. I mean, that was in that part of our journey in the pregnancy. That I think was the worst. think, you know, if there was something else and you should mention that in the chat, then we make sure we fix that for next time. But from what I remember, I was like, that was probably, you know, it was so hard to see us.

39:38
struggling like that as well. Because it’s like, we’re so helpless in terms of we can’t want to take that away from her, but we can’t do it. But we really tried to make sure we could find a solution as best we could. And it was really frustrating, you know, getting there and then not getting there because we can’t find the right thing that’s going to make you feel better. So I’ve got the iron infusion and then

39:57
boing straight away, she comes back into life again. I had an eye infusion, it’s very common in surrogates, but just pregnancy. Em said there that no, hands down that was the hardest, but you advocated her for so well. I’m sure as for many IPs, because you want to be hands on, seeing the person that you care about suffering and there’s nothing that, well, you can’t take the pregnancy away and carry it for her. There were other supports that you did too. You helped out with her kids, what maybe like school or drop offs or spending time with the kids and things. Yes. Yeah. So in the early stages,

40:27
m Em moved over from WA to Queensland and was in, she’ll tell you the exact number of days, but it roughly about six months. She was solo parenting. Wow.

40:37
and being pregnant. And it was just the time of trying to, know, Kurt move over, doing the job thing. so took taking longer than planned. And obviously, we want to move over with the girls from a school year point of view, and that sort of thing, get them settled. And it was meant to be not long after that Kurt was gone, but it just was drawn out. So like we wanted to do everything we possibly could do to try and make that as easy as we could to try and support. yeah, picking up the girls from school, dropping them off, looking after them. Like there was one point and was in Sydney for work.

41:06
And if I remember, was it something to with a tooth falling out and then I had to go and pick the girl up from school, get the girls up from school and you know, and like, yes, don’t worry, we’re on it, we’re on it, we’re on it, we’ll do it.

41:16
do it. It’s easy. Like, and at the time we were living a bit closer, about half an hour away. We’re not that far now, about 45 minutes away. So even now it’s easy to, you know, jump in the car, whizz down there, do something that she needs if needed, you know. But Em’s not one to ask, so it was a tooth when it fell out and she fainted. I thought it was something to do with a tooth. Had to be a tooth, yes. Being able to try and find things that we can do and Em’s very strong.

41:39
willed and independent, she’s not one to ask ever. Both surrogates? she should. You tell Hannah that she should. Hopefully she’s listening to I tell all surrogates that they should. They can give the advice to other surrogates, but we can’t take it ourselves. It’s very hard. right. Yeah, absolutely. That was some of the other stuff that we’re doing as well. And spending lots of time with them, because obviously solo parenting, we could only imagine, wouldn’t be so easy, especially moving from one side of the country to the other.

42:05
So yeah. Well done to your team. We’ll start to wrap it up because again, we’ve talked for a long time, but we can continue talking. I’ll answer just some of the quick questions. Anonymous asks, how can we rewatch this? There’s a YouTube channel for all of these recordings that are kept on. So find it there. You can listen back to it as a podcast series, Saragasy Australia. There was a question about embryo donation, but I see Sam Everingham.

42:25
has joined us and he’s answered that they are rare but that can be done. You can also find some embryo donations through the group EDA, Egg Donation Australia, so you might consider looking that up. And then another question is, do we ever run webinars with intended parents rather than parents and surrogates? Perhaps that question’s about the webinar that I have done, episode 23, when I did have three intended parents on talking about how to find a surrogate. So that’s a long one hour webinar.

42:51
that and so that’s where I would direct you to to find that one. Alex next week we’re coming into the second year of you and Carlo running the Australian Saragasy and Donation Week. A week of education, advocacy, information, picnics, story time for kids, followed up with the awards night on the Saturday, the gala night. Is there anything you’d like to tell us about that week coming up but then also your why. Why is it that you and Carlo felt this calling?

43:16
to do something more for the community. What would you like to tell us? Yeah, so next week is kicks off on Sunday with the big picnics. They’re happening in most capital cities, six out of the eight, actually, around the country. They will kick off the week and then from the Monday through to the Friday, we do lots of webinars and information sessions. We got like Anna’s doing something, Sam’s doing something. We’ve got like some lawyers. We’ve got a fertility specialist speaker as well.

43:42
talking all sorts of different things around and to support you. And then in the evenings we have story time for kids. So that’s like authors have written books about families that are created slightly differently. So they’re reading those at bedtime, local time, 6.30, wherever you are. And then on the Friday night, we’ve got a community Zoom meeting that happens. So Anna runs these every few weeks now, two to three weeks, maybe every month, you know, so we’re going to bring up the community together on the Friday night. If you’re around, attend that.

44:06
it’s a great way to chat with new people, introduce yourself, talk about things around surrogacy and donation, don’t talk about things around surrogacy and donation, just get to know people all over the country which is amazing. And then Saturday night we wrap up the week with the Australian Surrogacy and Donor Awards which is in Brisbane this year, last year was in Sydney and there’s it was a really great event, I’m not sure who was there, actually there’s a few names who were there so maybe drop in.

44:29
comments in the chat what you thought of the night. But tickets close tomorrow for that. It’s like a fantastic week. Last year we ran 52 events, this year we’re doing pretty much the same. You know, you mentioned Carlo and I have founded it, but we founded it as a team with Em as well. So Em…

44:44
is one of the founders of Australian Saragasy and Donation. At the awards, Gala and I, also going to do a little speech around about Saragasy being a surrogate and the importance of what this is doing for people within the community and also with the industry as well. So why did we start it? It’s a really good question. Carlo and I were at one of our business mentors runs an event all about life, talks about nothing about business, all about life. And he talks about all these different pillars in life that, you know, if you really want to be like have life fulfillment and be successful and things like that sort of thing,

45:14
like you want to have not just, you know, one thing in your life that you’re doing, there’s like, there’s things around like your wellbeing and that spiritual and emotional and physical wellbeing. You’ve got things like, you know, your family and your community. And then one of the things he talks about is your obligation. And he’s asking us going like, well, what’s your obligation in life? I’m like, oh, it’s our unborn children. You know, we want it to be our family. Like, no, everybody’s obligations, their kids. So it can’t be your kids. So it was really interesting pushing us, and pushing us, pushing us to go, what is it? What is it? And we’re like, well, we’re in the sorority space, right? And we had so many questions and we were like, saw so many different things.

45:44
going on, what was happening, etc. So we were like, let’s do something, let’s maybe we can help out on a board or an admin or Facebook group or whatever. was just nothing was quite the whole fulfillment thing. So we came up with the, let’s do a week of an intense week of education, community connection, engagement, etc., which was a strange service in a week. And then after that finished, we were exhausted and everyone’s like, so now what are you going to do for the rest of the year? And we’re like…

46:09
No, have a baby and look after a baby. So no, so we now do things throughout the year. We’re going to ramp up hopefully next year now more events throughout the year in all the different states. We’re very big on, know, we talk, always talk publicly about.

46:23
We never take a single dollar from the charity and that’s critical because obviously you have lots of people who do great things for the community but obviously charge for services and things like that. So we’ve always said that we will never do that and our goal is to try and bring in bigger businesses and things like that to fund everything we do. So yes, that’s in a nutshell why we’re doing it as well. Well done. We were forced to. No, it’s so much, it’s so exciting to be part of it as well. Yeah. And for me, having been around the community for nine years,

46:52
I love it when I gravitate towards people like yourselves who come into the community over time and have some passion and energy to do your bit, make a difference and go, I think I can contribute this. as you say, hopefully a lot of us sort of in our own way, find that sort of calling and make our contribution. And it’s lovely to be around that energy with you, you too, and Emma as well. And so yeah, thank you for what you’ve done for the community over the last couple of years. And I look forward to seeing it grow.

47:19
So it’s pretty exciting what we’ve got planned coming up as well. Like we’re doing stuff with AI, like to try and support people with AI, pick up the phone and have a chat with the AI around. Like there’s some really cool stuff we’re working on. Hospital policies we’re working on, like trying to support GPs and things like that. It’s like there’s a lot more than just running a few events to support immunity. We’re like really now trying to ramp up the change and try and support everyone holistically. And it’s not just us, it’s all Australians. doesn’t matter whether you’re doing it in Australia or overseas. We want to try and bring community together, build out.

47:48
that as well. like our Facebook group was there just as a basic support, but now we’re like it into a point where we’re going, we’re now going to create a whole bunch of stuff layered on top of that. So it’s quite exciting to see the next 12 months. The last year was great. The last two years have been great, but I think it’s really, it’s going to change quite dramatically over the next 12 months. So that’s pretty exciting.

48:06
You heard it here first folks, watch this space. thank you volunteers make the world go round. And as you say, you know, you don’t draw a penny from this. You create your income through other means, different businesses. But yes, it’s so much of your volunteer time goes into this. So thank you for your time and your efforts. Thank you. Yeah, it’d great to see everyone there, especially the picnics on the 19th. There’s like quite a few people in this, I’ve noticed in the chat who are hosts as well. So they will certainly reach out and this is the thing. It’s not just about us. We’re just the puppeteers, right? And coordinating things.

48:36
And then we’ve got great people who are actually on the ground in the state because obviously we can’t be in six different locations around the country at 11 o’clock in the morning on the same day. So it’s really important for us to bring members of our community together to really work together for each other. They’re not doing us a favor, they’re actually supporting their local community as well. And that’s the whole point of it is bringing everyone together and we just help coordinate that. That’s really all we do. As you say, we need many members of the community to make these things work and grow. And so, yeah, we’re really thankful for everybody. You’ll also…

49:06
because you’ve come to this webinar, I’ve got your email address, and so you’ll be part of my monthly newsletter. But also I’m sending out a newsletter tomorrow with all of the information about this week coming up and about the picnic and the nights, the gala night and stuff. there’s lots of information there. So check your inbox for that. Wonderful. So, well, we will wrap it up there. Unless Alex, is there any last minute bits of parting advice that you want to say that we haven’t covered or we’ve done it? We’ve pretty much done it, I think.

49:31
We were chatting about this over dinner. I think there’s this thing that everyone’s like, put yourself out there and you know, you need to be like all over the place. So, made a really good point this evening. I said like, what’s the final words of wisdom Carlo? Because we know Anna is going to ask that question. And he’s like, all it takes is just one person. That’s all it takes. One person to notice you. One person to see one thing that you’ve said that they really like about you. One thing, one person and one sort of story that you’ve told for them to start a conversation. And that’s really all it takes. So you don’t

50:01
have to be all out there, you don’t have to be like this is what we were told, you’ve got to put yourself out there, you’ve to put yourself out there. Well there’s lots of ways to do that and you can put yourself out there and post all about your life and things like that on social media and across different Facebook groups but really all you need to find is that, get that one person to find you. So that’s really kind of where we sort of see it now is don’t stress about it, it will happen.

50:23
takes as one. And that’s interesting because there’s a certain saying that I finish off my webinar with each time which is I’m about to say is that we change the world one conversation at a time and so on the flip side that in that time that you’re waiting for that person to connect with they could take the initiative and connect with one person so even if you’re an IP you could start up a chat with another IP and just get to know them and then you’re practicing that connection aren’t you and you just start with one chat at a time and you build up your confidence and you grow your village as you go. Yeah absolutely yeah it’s a

50:53
important to build those micro communities and I often talk about that in anything I’m talking whenever I’m speaking about it. It’s talk about micro communities and we wouldn’t have been able to do it without them. Really close friends of ours now. Surrogates, intended parents, parents who are surrogacy. You know, it’s not just intended parents or people on the same side. It’s both sides and they’re friends for life now as well. Thank you so much for joining me. On our YouTube channel, you will find many other episodes as well as the images mentioned in this webinar.

51:20
If you’re looking for more resources, check out the show notes for this episode and consider joining us for one of our webinars so you can have your questions answered on the spot. Please subscribe to this podcast if you found it valuable and share it with someone so they too can benefit from this conversation. Until next time, welcome to the village.

being a surrogate and the importance of what this is doing for people within the community and also with the industry as well. So why did we start it? It’s a really good question. Carlo and I were at one of our business mentors runs an event all about life, talks about nothing about business, all about life. And he talks about all these different pillars in life that, you know, if you really want to be like have life fulfillment and be successful and things like that sort of thing,

45:14
like you want to have not just, you know, one thing in your life that you’re doing, there’s like, there’s things around like your wellbeing and that spiritual and emotional and physical wellbeing. You’ve got things like, you know, your family and your community. And then one of the things he talks about is your obligation. And he’s asking us going like, well, what’s your obligation in life? I’m like, oh, it’s our unborn children. You know, we want it to be our family. Like, no, everybody’s obligations, their kids. So it can’t be your kids. So it was really interesting pushing us, and pushing us, pushing us to go, what is it? What is it? And we’re like, well, we’re in the sorority space, right? And we had so many questions and we were like, saw so many different things.

45:44
going on, what was happening, etc. So we were like, let’s do something, let’s maybe we can help out on a board or an admin or Facebook group or whatever. was just nothing was quite the whole fulfillment thing. So we came up with the, let’s do a week of an intense week of education, community connection, engagement, etc., which was a strange service in a week. And then after that finished, we were exhausted and everyone’s like, so now what are you going to do for the rest of the year? And we’re like…

46:09
No, have a baby and look after a baby. So no, so we now do things throughout the year. We’re going to ramp up hopefully next year now more events throughout the year in all the different states. We’re very big on, know, we talk, always talk publicly about.

46:23
We never take a single dollar from the charity and that’s critical because obviously you have lots of people who do great things for the community but obviously charge for services and things like that. So we’ve always said that we will never do that and our goal is to try and bring in bigger businesses and things like that to fund everything we do. So yes, that’s in a nutshell why we’re doing it as well. Well done. We were forced to. No, it’s so much, it’s so exciting to be part of it as well. Yeah. And for me, having been around the community for nine years,

46:52
I love it when I gravitate towards people like yourselves who come into the community over time and have some passion and energy to do your bit, make a difference and go, I think I can contribute this. as you say, hopefully a lot of us sort of in our own way, find that sort of calling and make our contribution. And it’s lovely to be around that energy with you, you too, and Emma as well. And so yeah, thank you for what you’ve done for the community over the last couple of years. And I look forward to seeing it grow.

47:19
So it’s pretty exciting what we’ve got planned coming up as well. Like we’re doing stuff with AI, like to try and support people with AI, pick up the phone and have a chat with the AI around. Like there’s some really cool stuff we’re working on. Hospital policies we’re working on, like trying to support GPs and things like that. It’s like there’s a lot more than just running a few events to support immunity. We’re like really now trying to ramp up the change and try and support everyone holistically. And it’s not just us, it’s all Australians. doesn’t matter whether you’re doing it in Australia or overseas. We want to try and bring community together, build out.

47:48
that as well. like our Facebook group was there just as a basic support, but now we’re like it into a point where we’re going, we’re now going to create a whole bunch of stuff layered on top of that. So it’s quite exciting to see the next 12 months. The last year was great. The last two years have been great, but I think it’s really, it’s going to change quite dramatically over the next 12 months. So that’s pretty exciting.

48:06
You heard it here first folks, watch this space. thank you volunteers make the world go round. And as you say, you know, you don’t draw a penny from this. You create your income through other means, different businesses. But yes, it’s so much of your volunteer time goes into this. So thank you for your time and your efforts. Thank you. Yeah, it’d great to see everyone there, especially the picnics on the 19th. There’s like quite a few people in this, I’ve noticed in the chat who are hosts as well. So they will certainly reach out and this is the thing. It’s not just about us. We’re just the puppeteers, right? And coordinating things.

48:36
And then we’ve got great people who are actually on the ground in the state because obviously we can’t be in six different locations around the country at 11 o’clock in the morning on the same day. So it’s really important for us to bring members of our community together to really work together for each other. They’re not doing us a favor, they’re actually supporting their local community as well. And that’s the whole point of it is bringing everyone together and we just help coordinate that. That’s really all we do. As you say, we need many members of the community to make these things work and grow. And so, yeah, we’re really thankful for everybody. You’ll also…

49:06
because you’ve come to this webinar, I’ve got your email address, and so you’ll be part of my monthly newsletter. But also I’m sending out a newsletter tomorrow with all of the information about this week coming up and about the picnic and the nights, the gala night and stuff. there’s lots of information there. So check your inbox for that. Wonderful. So, well, we will wrap it up there. Unless Alex, is there any last minute bits of parting advice that you want to say that we haven’t covered or we’ve done it? We’ve pretty much done it, I think.

49:31
We were chatting about this over dinner. I think there’s this thing that everyone’s like, put yourself out there and you know, you need to be like all over the place. So, made a really good point this evening. I said like, what’s the final words of wisdom Carlo? Because we know Anna is going to ask that question. And he’s like, all it takes is just one person. That’s all it takes. One person to notice you. One person to see one thing that you’ve said that they really like about you. One thing, one person and one sort of story that you’ve told for them to start a conversation. And that’s really all it takes. So you don’t

50:01
have to be all out there, you don’t have to be like this is what we were told, you’ve got to put yourself out there, you’ve to put yourself out there. Well there’s lots of ways to do that and you can put yourself out there and post all about your life and things like that on social media and across different Facebook groups but really all you need to find is that, get that one person to find you. So that’s really kind of where we sort of see it now is don’t stress about it, it will happen.

50:23
takes as one. And that’s interesting because there’s a certain saying that I finish off my webinar with each time which is I’m about to say is that we change the world one conversation at a time and so on the flip side that in that time that you’re waiting for that person to connect with they could take the initiative and connect with one person so even if you’re an IP you could start up a chat with another IP and just get to know them and then you’re practicing that connection aren’t you and you just start with one chat at a time and you build up your confidence and you grow your village as you go. Yeah absolutely yeah it’s a

50:53
important to build those micro communities and I often talk about that in anything I’m talking whenever I’m speaking about it. It’s talk about micro communities and we wouldn’t have been able to do it without them. Really close friends of ours now. Surrogates, intended parents, parents who are surrogacy. You know, it’s not just intended parents or people on the same side. It’s both sides and they’re friends for life now as well. Thank you so much for joining me. On our YouTube channel, you will find many other episodes as well as the images mentioned in this webinar.

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If you’re looking for more resources, check out the show notes for this episode and consider joining us for one of our webinars so you can have your questions answered on the spot. Please subscribe to this podcast if you found it valuable and share it with someone so they too can benefit from this conversation. Until next time, welcome to the village.