Episode 111 – Laura – straight mum

00:14
Welcome to Surrogacy Australia’s podcast series. I’m your host Anna McKie. Thank you for sharing your time to listen to this episode. These recordings are from the regular one-hour free webinars that I run, which I invite you to attend if you haven’t already. They take you through how surrogacy works in Australia, including how to find a surrogate or intended parents. There are opportunities to ask questions and you hear from a co-host each time about their own journey.

00:41
This episode, recorded in July 2025, features Laura. Laura and her husband Brendan from Penrith became parents to their son Mason in February 2025. Mason was carried by surrogate Bree, who is Brendan’s sister, and was also created using donor eggs from Laura’s niece, Tiger. It was a very long journey to parenthood, with endometriosis, adenomyosis, a full hysterectomy, and low AMH levels,

01:10
meaning low egg reserves. So Mason was nearly a 10 year journey in the making. I’m so grateful that Laura was so open and vulnerable when sharing her story, especially when talking about endometriosis. She talked about how it is a horrible disease and can be so crippling and isolating. When she shared her pain and frustration on Facebook, it ultimately led to her connecting with her egg donor and surrogate.

01:36
I hope this episode might inspire others to be brave and to share your story.

01:41
Well, Nora, take us back to the beginning then, as we said, it’s been a long journey for you. Tell us briefly about the medical journey, which eventually needed a surrogate and an egg donor. Yeah. So a few years ago, I think it was around 2017, I found out I had endometriosis and it was going to be a struggle to fall pregnant. So I went through trying to do IVF, a few rounds at Westmead Fertility. That didn’t work. I only ever had like one or three or two eggs. Yeah.

02:11
first round none fertilized. That was hard. Then the second round we got two to fertilize. We had a fresh transfer that didn’t work obviously. Then we had a frozen transfer and that still didn’t work. So then we did one more round there and we only got two eggs that time and only one fertilized. So that got frozen and then we tried that one and obviously that didn’t work again.

02:32
one of Brennan’s clients for his work told it recommended a different doctor, but he was at Bella Vista. And then when he told us that we would probably need an egg donor, he recommended Dr. Lieberman. Okay. It’s city fertility. So that’s when our journey started with her through there. And then I went back if like when was it 2023, I went to the like, to just check on my endo to see how everything was going. Cause I didn’t want to do a transfer and then not to work. And that’s when we found out we couldn’t have my own keys cause my uterus was stuck to

03:02
my bowels, which is not a good thing. And when we had the egg donor, so we did that in 20, I remember the exact date, 2022 around April. And that’s when Tiger, like my niece offered to be my egg donor, which the most beautiful gift she could have given me. had 17 eggs that like she got, but only one froze. Yeah. Wow. Just shows you that the numbers, there’s no guarantee is there? No.

03:27
And then everyone recommended doing more egg transfer, like getting more eggs beforehand. But my niece, she happened to fall pregnant before when we were about to do it. So we couldn’t use her for that. I, me and Brennan decided because we were just both getting older. were just, when Bree offered, we just thought we’ll just try with the one and we had one and done. We were lucky that one took, thank God. Interesting. So I’ve done some data collecting.

03:52
because sometimes people ask how many embryos should we have? And although there’s about 50 to 60 % by my data gathering that do fall pregnant on the first, I do recommend usually three because 90 % of people seem to have a live birth in surrogacy after three. I don’t know therefore if you’d had any chats about if your egg donor tiger once she had her child, if you needed a second round, she donate again? Well, she was willing to donate the like again to start with, but then.

04:18
when we found out she was pregnant, she couldn’t obviously. So we’re like, okay, that was a spinner in the works. But like I said, we’ll just worked well, like it worked in our favor. As you say, worked after one embryo. And we, and we know it was a strong embryo as well. Like we knew that it was like a really strong embryo. was a good embryo. we’re like, let’s just try. Yeah. And it worked. It’s interesting because I know

04:40
quite a few surrogates, particularly if you carry for a stranger, might not do it if there’s only one, because there’s a lot of counseling and legals and paperwork to go through. But I suppose because you had that family connection, you were all writing that together. just tell us then, how did your egg donor and your surrogate family connections there step forward? What is it that you did? Because a lot of people go, well, how do I find a surrogate and a donor? What is it that you did that then they step forward? Both times, I’m pretty sure I posted a lot of emotional angry posts towards endometriosis.

05:10
and how horrible the disease is, how it’s just not talked about. Absolutely. Yeah, sorry. No, this is real. And then they both just reached out. So Bree reached out to Brendan and Tyga just, she just offered. As soon as she knew I couldn’t have, like I had no eggs, she literally offered in a heartbeat.

05:27
Beautiful people out there that want to help, hey? Yeah, definitely have some good family members. Good. Well, some wonderful role models there in Mason’s life. Yes, 100%. So, yeah, so you were vulnerable and you shared on Facebook that the struggles that you had been going through and you were raw in that sense. Yeah, like I posted a lot about it because I didn’t know anything about it until I got diagnosed. I had no idea what endometriosis was. I had no idea what I was up against, like facing.

05:55
like in the world, like I didn’t know the struggles that I’d have waiting to have kids later in life. I wish someone told me younger how hard it was. Sure. Is there anything you could have done differently then on this journey? Not now, no. Yeah. Cause like said, if I knew younger, I would have had kids straight away. Like I wouldn’t have waited until I was married, 27 to start trying. Interesting. Yep.

06:17
Yeah. And it can take such a variety among people too, that the spectrum of what Indo can be like, can’t it? Yeah. It’s debilitating. And it’s crippling. It just like, you feel so isolated, like you don’t want to talk to people because you’re in pain. You miss birthday parties. You miss going out because like, yeah, when the pain hits, the pain used to hit so hard. Yeah. It was horrible. Well, thank you for being brave and talking about it and bringing awareness to this because it’s a path that many women

06:44
will be on that eventually needs surrogacy. Yeah, definitely. And I just like said, it needs to be talked about younger like school age kids like young teenage girls going through the worst changes of their lives need to know straight away. I’ve had a girl in my class this year.

06:58
with Endo and cysts on her ovaries and has had time off for it too. it’s just, yeah, it’s just horrible. Yeah. Well, so we’ve got some beautiful photos here of your journey, some of the different people in your journey. tell us, yeah, who are the people in each of these photos? So the photo where you can see, kind of see the Harvard Bridge, the three of us in that, that’s me, Brennan and my niece, Tiger. That was on our, the egg retrieval day. And is Tiger connected? That’s on your side of the family? Yes. So she’s my brother’s daughter. Brother’s daughter. Lovely. Yep.

07:28
photo in the middle and the photo on the other side was the weekend, the conference in Melbourne, the surrogacy conference, when we first took our first step to figure out if I could do it, what our steps were, what our options were really, who we could speak to. And then the tattoo in the middle was Steven Pages. He wrote was when not if, and he was a massive part of me figuring out that I could actually go through surrogacy. When he told me that it’s my choice, my body, no one can force me to have surgery to

07:58
clear up endo to just be able to carry a baby he like really put it in my head that okay I can do this like I don’t have to have a doctor telling me that I can’t like I have to try to carry it myself and mentally like it was draining as well and you’d already essentially been given that approval to engage with a surrogate so that’s fascinating so because I was at that conference so we must have seen each other in probably definitely definitely and I love that that would have been June July two years ago and here we are two years after that conference and you are

08:28
on here sharing your story about when you became a mum, not if you became a mum. That’s it. And that’s when he said it, when those words really stuck to us. So Bree and I straight afterwards, we didn’t tell Josh or Brendan, but we were looking for a tattoo shop so we could get it tattooed to our arms. Yes. So we could have it like with us. And it was just that simple reminder that it could definitely happen. Wow. And it did. And so then you went on that journey. So you were at the conference and then Bree has offered. then, you’re going through all the counseling and legals and eventually get to Embryo

08:58
transfer day. Is there anything though in between of the journey that springs to mind in the counseling and legal stage that’s worth mentioning or was smooth? It was smoother for us because we’re family. the counseling when we had Ian, don’t know how to say his last name. Tremellan. That’s the one. When he did our counseling, he was like, oh, this will be so easy because it’s family. Like you’ve known each other forever. So our process in that side of things is smooth. Going through the lawyers was relatively alright.

09:28
best use it can be. But yeah, like, cause it was all family, like everything was family based. It was a lot easier for us. Great. Yep. Well that’s good smooth journey. Yeah. And then there was a lot riding on that one in row transfer, hey? A hundred percent. a lot riding on that one. just had, like Brie has had three kids of her own. just, I knew she’d be able to carry it. just had all, everything in my mind said she’d be able to carry that one in bureau.

09:51
And then that’s a great example of how surrogates are fertile women that, you know, they’ve got proven track record with pregnancy and Tyga was young and

09:59
and fell pregnant herself soon after. that’s proven fertility. And so you had a lot more of, you know, the Trump cards, so to speak, being played. compared to my uterus that was useless. Yes. What I do say though, as I’ve mentioned in the earlier part of the presentation, I’ve been an egg donor for two families, which was also surrogacy. So the mum needed an egg donor and a surrogate just like you. And although you didn’t birth the child and although it’s not

10:22
genetically connected to you, well I mean it’s sort of still through a family connection there for you, you have created your child’s life through your ability to bring people together and project manage this pregnancy and birth. So you have brought him into the world in that sense. I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it like that. No, definitely not.

10:40
I just thought like you’ve got that whole village behind us. Yep, a beautiful village. And so then, yes, we move on to so that does that mean that surrogate Bree and her husband came down for the Embryo transfer? Yep, we flew them down from Brisbane for the transfer day. We flew them in and out. the down? Yeah, we told, no, they came in the night before. We told nobody that they’ll come in down.

11:01
because I wanted to keep it a secret because IVF is not a secret. Everyone knows when you’re going through it, this was the one secret I keep and I so could surprise my family. Beautiful. And Brendan’s family of course. Yes, yes because usually if it’s just like a traditional hetero couple having a baby they get to wait until say 12 weeks to announce. Yeah, do you remember how many weeks long you were when you announced it to people? Pretty well straight away. Yeah sure, but just in case that transfer hadn’t worked then you had that buffer time to think about how you’re going to

11:31
Say it. Yeah. we did like, was like doing the test every day because she wanted to and it was positive every day and it got stronger and stronger the line. I just remember seeing it and just getting excited. And then the phone call, I remember that day like it was yesterday, getting the phone call to say that.

11:47
it worked. And then I think it was a six week scan. We didn’t fly out to that one. And then after that one is when I remember telling everyone or I might’ve told them a little bit just before that, my family. And then I started telling close friends afterwards before the 12 weeks. I was too excited not to tell people. bet. And so then how many times do you remember seeing each other during the pregnancy? I guess some of the major scans, but yeah, were you able, I’m assuming you went to her most of the time then during pregnancy? Yeah. So we went out for two,

12:17
the scans and then the third scan closer to it, the dating scan I think it was called, can’t remember exactly. Brie and Josh were down here with their kids for Christmas time. they did the scan down here, so that was good for us.

12:31
we could do it in Sydney. yeah nice to connect at the different places and then ultimately you were all together for gender reveal and baby shower I think we’ve got some photos of those. Yes yeah so they’re the gender reveal photos obviously. Yes and I think I saw on your socials the video that you did of interviewing each person about you know if they were a girl and them naming if they’re know Auntie Bree or you know cousin Todd.

12:54
sort of thing. Yeah. We really like that. I like it. I needed that so he could remember it as well and see how many people he’s around him and how much he’s loved. Yeah. Already. Before he was here. Yeah. That that village together that’s that really want him to be in this world. Yes, definitely. And this is a baby shower day. Lovely. So again, that was down with you guys. This is at our house. Yeah. And they came down for that. Yeah. And then Brie and her mum, her mum came down for that one and they stay with us for that one. Lovely.

13:21
We’re coming to the day of birth, but is there anything else you’d like to mention about the pregnancy? How it was for Brie? Was it particularly challenging or similar to her own? Any types of supports that you were able to offer or things to pay for? Trying to think of everything to say. That’s a hard part. Challenging. There was certain things that were challenging for me that was just not being able to carry him. Being a mum, I felt like a dad.

13:45
whole pregnancy because I didn’t have him in my belly. Like I didn’t experience all the pregnancy sides of things that you normally would experience. So that was a real struggle. Sometimes that’s still is a struggle. Not like I’m happy that he is like I’m kind of happy that he came for his surrogacy because it brought this bond between us that you can’t unbreak. But yeah, it was a real struggle to not have him in my belly.

14:09
feel like the kicks, the movements or that side of things. And I guess Brendan found it a bit of a struggle because he couldn’t come home and just ask me how I was feeling. So to him, it felt a bit more disconnected as well.

14:22
I also didn’t want to, I didn’t want to harass Bri too much to know how she was feeling the whole time. But I also want to harass her every chance I could to see she was okay and make sure she was like, everything was fine. I do remember we did send up a care package at one stage when her hands were breaking out with, I can’t remember what she’s like, was on her hands and stuff. So we sent like a care package up.

14:43
But yeah, we tried to contact as much as we could. Yeah. So that you were kept in the loop of the pregnancy and the kicks and how she was feeling like, your son’s making me feel sick today. Yeah. Well, I just remember she would tell me that he would kick her in the ribs constantly, the poor thing. And when I got, well, she’d say beat the crap out of her. And when I got to feel him kicking on, like, well, he’s kicking hard and now he kicks constantly. So I understand the pain. Well, I can see how she would have been in pain because he doesn’t stop moving those little legs.

15:13
Yeah, active little boy. Yeah, just like sometimes you just wax them and I’m like, what is that sound in the middle of the night? He’s just hitting his legs into the bed. So loud. Yes. And so then leading up to birth, I’m assuming you flew up there a little bit before birth and stayed for a while after birth. So he was a planned caesarian. Oh, it was caesarian, right? Yes. So we drove up the…

15:36
this week before, so we’re up there for a few days beforehand. And then the day after, so we knew he was already, what day he was coming, so planned for that day. And then we stayed for two weeks afterwards, so which is good. We could spend more time out there with her before we just came home and had to travel with a baby. Yes. Exciting and scary. Yeah. And so then what was it like being there, watching your son be born, well, having that first hold of him? It was, I cried way more than I thought I would. Like I made that little video on Facebook about it. It was very, I

16:06
was just amazing. day of like, thought like I wanted to, like I knew that I couldn’t be in the room with her because I knew having necessarily, you could only have one other person, which I was understanding. I knew that from the start because I understand that side of things. So while we’re waiting, that was the longest wait of my life because I was like, I hope I didn’t know how long it would take to start with. Cause you kind of know, but you don’t know. But it felt like it went forever. Like I was like, is everything okay? Is Bri okay? Is he okay? Like you just, and cause Josh had noticed reception down there.

16:36
tried to message us to say everything’s fine. We didn’t see any of that. So we’re like, what is happening? Is everyone okay? And it just felt like it went forever. But I don’t think it actually went for as long as I thought it was. It just felt like, hmm.

16:48
Yeah, it was the longest wait of my life just waiting. And then when we finally got to go down, I was already crying before I walked in the room. And then I just sobbed when I held him for the first time. Yeah, it was very sweet to like, I still get emotional about it now. Fair enough. And was there any doubt in your mind that you were mum? Once he was in my arms, there was no doubt. Like the day that he was here, it was just all the pain just went away. Yeah. He healed your heart. Literally like he was my missing piece. Wow.

17:15
And also then how do you feel looking at your sister-in-law, Bree, holding him? Sometimes people at the beginning of this journey might wonder, oh is there jealousy when you see another woman holding your baby? What do you see when you look at this photo? Definitely not, I just grateful. That’s all I can, like there is not enough gratitude in this world or anything I could give Bree to show her how grateful I am.

17:35
Nothing can give her anything to repay her. You could never repay her for what she’s done. The gift of life. Definitely. And for those listening back to this as a recording, you can’t see the chat that’s happening here tonight on this webinar, but it’s very active tonight and there’s lots of love in the chat, lots of hearts, people saying you’re a strong woman, Mason’s lucky to have you as his parents, everybody’s proud of you, lots of hearts there. So yeah, you’re really connecting with a lot of people here, Lauren, and touching their hearts.

18:05
a beautiful story. Yeah, thank you. And then we’ll just see what other photos we’ve got. there’s some.

18:10
You stayed in hospital together. that’s, yeah. People often wonder that how does that work? Were you either in the same room or rejoining rooms for a day or so? I stayed in the same room as Brie. Um, cause she went through private and the amount of money a private hospital wanted to charge for us to stay separately was just, yeah, it was not worth it if we could stay with Brie. And it turned out like it worked out good because Brie appreciated that we stayed with her because she wasn’t alone in the hospital either.

18:37
Like we were together the whole time, we could talk about things. It was really, I found it most beneficial for the first night because I slept through Mason. I wasn’t prepared. He was very

18:48
quiet baby, he barely made any noise as well, like crying, he’s not a loud kid. So I definitely slept through his little sounds and Brie was there to help me to wake up to him. Really, she should have brought like a Nerf gun or something to shoot me, to wake me up or throw a pillow at me, anything to wake me up. yeah, so we have that good, a bit of a laugh, that memory now, so was good. And it’s often a really special thing to spend that first day or a few days together, you know.

19:14
bonding over this journey that you’ve been on and both loving on the same child, yeah, and welcoming him into the world. Yeah, definitely. And then you had some newborn photo shoots done and what I really love is that you included Bree in those. Not every surrogacy team does that, but I think that’s a really special thing when the surrogate’s invited to those newborn photos. This photo here, there’s one of each of his sort of parents in some ways, his mum and dad and then his birth mother, so to speak, each of you holding him and.

19:41
Beautiful smiles on your face is there. No, it was really special that we could have her in the photos as well. I would have liked to also have added Tiger in there as well, but she’s obviously in New South Wales. So maybe one day we could do a nice photo with both girls together when we’re in the same state all together for once. Just because I just like to acknowledge both of them because without both of those two women in my life, I wouldn’t have Mason today. Absolutely. So being able to include her in that photo shoot is very special. And like the photographer, she was amazing.

20:11
She, we were at Brisbane and I, we didn’t have enough money left over for the photo shoot to start with. So Bree’s mom, because Brennan and Bree share a dad. So her mom reached out to, on their like local community page to see if someone could help us out. And she offered to help do a free photo shoot and we pay for our photos, which I ended up getting quite a lot because I couldn’t not choose which ones to appear.

20:35
such a beautiful lady to do that for us. Like I didn’t expect anyone to do any, like I don’t expect anything for free, but I really appreciated it. Cause we can look back on these memories now. Definitely. I’ve got a couple more there. And I’m sure for her as the photographer, being able to capture Sarah, cause she is quite a unique thing for a photographer. So she probably really enjoyed it too, bet. Yeah, I think so. She really enjoyed it. She thought it was adorable.

20:57
So sweet and quiet. Yes. And then we’re just finishing up with some of the last photos here. I’m going to guess this photo might be when you were up in Queensland just before you came back home. Yes, it definitely was. I wanted to get a photo of the four of us together with Mason before we left it. Yep. And then a photo of Mason growing up a bit more of recent times there, big smile on his face in the pram and just you guys being mum and dad, hey? Yeah. He’s such a happy little boy and so chill all the time he is. As I said to you before off air, I hear that

21:27
anecdotally, the surrogate babies are often quite chill. I’m not sure if it’s because the parents haven’t had to go through the pregnancy and birth and so they’re actually quite well rested when they start parenthood. So, but if not, hey, you’ve been on long journeys anyway to come to parenthood. Maybe that’s a little grace that you get. could definitely be that. We don’t know. Who knows if it is. I wonder if there’s more parents that feel the same way then about surrogate babies. I should do some more data gathering on that. Speaking of the data gathering that I’ve done, I’ve done some data gathering on the cock.

21:57
of how much surrogacy can cost. And so for anybody listening, the average is about 60,000. It costs my dad’s that, but the range can be from about 35 up to 90,000. And that can vary on how many egg collections people needed to do, how many embryo transfers, if there was interstate travel or not. I don’t know if you want to give away an exact number, Laura, as to roughly how much you think yours is, but you’re somewhere in that range there, I’m guessing? Yeah, definitely would be. I don’t know exactly how much. If I calculated everything, I don’t think I would want to know.

22:27
exactly how much we’ve spent over the years, like, and then still paying to try and get the parentage order as well. So.

22:33
we’re almost done with that. We’ve had our last counselling and everything but yeah I don’t know that number would be very high. Yes. He’s definitely worth it. They are very wanted children aren’t they? Definitely. He’s 100 % gonna know he’s definitely wanted. And when they’re an annoying teenager teenagers you can be like do you know how much we cost? How much we wanted you here? Yeah I’ll just return to send it then. I’ll send him back up Queensland. That’s right.

22:58
No, that’s what Sarah could say. No, that. Yeah, they’ve already told us that one. They can be an auntie in Doton. Yeah. But yeah. So was it? all the auntie fun. Definitely. So is there anything about your journey in particular that was particularly challenging or particularly…

23:13
easy or that you’re proud of that you’d like to share with people to give them an example of the highs and lows of this journey. challenging one was like not because it was a push is in a different state. What was challenging was that I couldn’t be there every step of the way for her. So I couldn’t just I’m not if I wasn’t a phone call around the corner to go see her. She was not well, just to help out in general life things if she needed it. So that I found hard.

23:36
The upside is like you get the good relationship afterwards. Like you feel really close and bonded. We’ve spoken several times on FaceTime so she can see Mason. I’ll send them pictures constantly. So she always has updates of him as well. all the people that you’ve told about surrogacy, have you had any strange questions asked at you at any point in time that you’d be like, oh goodness, not that question. I had a question the other day, like someone asked me just why. And I was like, well, obviously I.

24:04
couldn’t carry because why else would you do surrogacy? But yeah, I haven’t had other many, too many strange questions, I guess, on my end. Hmm. I wonder if there’s sort of this saying that sometimes in America you can be too posh to push and some people you don’t actually have to have a medical reason in America to have a surrogate. So I wonder if that’s where that came from. They weren’t sure if you had a medical reason or you just…

24:25
want to be pregnant. Yeah, I think that could have come from that one. But yeah, it’s a weird one to ask people when especially in Australia, because we’re not like America, we can’t just have like, I had to jump through so many hoops to be able to have a surrogate in the first place. And that was a

24:41
That was difficult though. Definitely. Were you part of a mum’s group or anything once he was born in terms of, I was just wondering if you had to then tell your birth story to many people and because often people, it’s the one that birth tells the birth story, but you would be telling Mason’s birth story. It just wasn’t in your body. It was sort of Bree’s birth story. Yeah. And I didn’t become any, didn’t go to any mum groups.

25:01
I have a, cause I work in childcare. So I already have a lot of people that I can talk to for the mom side of things. And one of my close friends, she had a baby five days earlier. So we’re lucky that we’ve got our kids, we’ll grow up together, but going back to the gym, like we started a new gym. So not everyone at that gym knew of our situation.

25:20
The gym we were going to beforehand, they, everyone there pretty well knew like how we had to have a surrogate. So this new gym, when we went back in with a baby kind of then had to explain like, cause everyone was like, Oh, you’re back so early after having a baby. Like you’re amazing. I’m like, Oh, no, no, I had a surrogate like he’s a surrogate baby. So I’m like, no, I’m back early because I didn’t push him out. Like, because I was there like, I think three weeks after or four weeks after at the gym and they’re like, Oh, wow, you’re doing amazing. I’m like, I wanted to take credit, but at the same time, like, no.

25:48
Give me a super mum. I wanted to take credit, but at the same time, wanted everyone, like, want people to know straight away. Like I don’t want anyone to question it. Like I’m just straightforward, like I would be straight away where he came, like how he was born, how he came into the world. even tell him straight out that he was an egg donor, like everything.

26:04
There’s no point hiding his story. Great. Well, that’s wonderful that you’re such a passionate advocate for surrogacy and egg donation and that you’re not sort of ashamed or fearful of this story. It’s just that it’s his story and it’s a beautiful story that many people came together to create his life. Like it’s our story, like people need to know it like there’s no point hiding behind it. I want him to know like where he’s come from and I want him to know how loved he is and how wanted he was like, well is not was, how wanted he is. Yes. And yeah, I just want him to know how loved he’ll always be. Beautiful. And again,

26:34
As mentioned, chat has been quite active and I believe your mum has been on tonight. Yeah, she was on there watching. Yeah, and she said she’s so proud of you Laura, you’re the most amazing daughter a mother could have and she loves you. And I guess as a mum, she’s watched you go through this struggle to be a mum and there’s nothing that she could do herself to fix this for you and to do it for you.

26:55
So there’s just that extra level of pride and joy in everybody that’s come together to help her daughter you become a mum. There’s a lot of love there. Definitely a lot of love there. I could sense that she’s very supportive. My mum is my best friend. She’s so supportive. And I guess that’s another great example of you do need support network, not just in your own immediate surrogacy team. You need your family and the friends that you can lean on to share this journey with too. We have a very good community. We have such amazing friends and family that understand

27:25
everything. They’re so grateful and happy to be there. They love Mason like he’s their own. Like they give him so much time. They give us so much time and they’ve always been there for us. So it’s like it’s really good that we’ve got everyone around us. I couldn’t have done it without having so many amazing friends and family of course. But family always there. But having a good friends as well is being really helpful because when you just need to turn to someone like especially yeah, just they’re all being so amazing. to ride those ups and downs of the journey with you, particularly in the times as a woman.

27:55
your frustration and sadness that you don’t get to be the one to carry. you’re so grateful for Tiger and Bree, for helping you become a mom, but there’s still some, you know, that sad element that it’s not you.

28:07
My, like, I did have not being able to have my own eggs was hard to start with as well. I had to overcome a lot of things like what if he doesn’t look like me? Like I wanted a kid to have some resemblance of my life in him. So that was hard to really, that was a tough struggle, that first part. And then when I overcame that, I was like, okay, yep, no, like I’ll get to carry him. So he’ll, I’ll still be able to have him inside me. And then when that was ripped away from me as well, was like, okay, cool. That’s not what I wanted.

28:33
My wife really took a turn then. I was like, yeah, you go through a lot of dark thoughts and you don’t want to, but it’s so hard. Yeah. Not sure if you had any counseling at any point to help with that or just the surrogacy counseling that was part It the surrogacy counseling and the egg donation counseling. Um, about talking to people, training constantly, like would get my head out of.

28:55
Like it put me into a positive mindset. having good trainers around me, like I made some really good friends at the gym. They’ve become friends for life. They’re uncles and aunties to Mason now without having all that support around you and just changing your mindset to like things happen for a reason. And now has amazing story, but, and we’ve also got to meet some lovely people along the way, like meeting Dana, where’s the beautiful, beautiful men. So I’m glad that like Mason will have them in the life as well.

29:21
And so for those listening, Dane and Wes are dads through surrogacy who have had their son at a similar time and Dane’s been on as a webinar co-host and people can catch his recording and listen to their story as well. So yeah, that’s great for the boys to grow up. Yeah, just have that friend that’s been through it as well is what is amazing for the boys. Definitely. Thank you for joining me. If you’d like to see the photos shared in this webinar presentation, head over to our YouTube channel to watch the webinar.

29:47
you can head to surrogacyaustralia.org for more information about surrogacy. Also check out our Zoom monthly catch-up sessions, which are a great way to connect with others in the surrogacy community. Attending a Zoom is scary the first time, but there’s only ever one first time. We have all been beginners at some stage. As we say, it takes a village to raise a child, and in the case of surrogacy, it takes a village to make a child. So welcome to the village.