Episode 102 – Shannen – surrogate

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Surrogacy Australia’s podcast series. I’m your host Anna McKie. Thank you for sharing your time to listen to this episode. These recordings are from the regular one-hour free webinars that I run which I invite you to attend if you haven’t already. They take you through how surrogacy works in Australia including how to find a surrogate or intended parents, there are opportunities to ask questions and you hear from a co-host each time about their own journey.

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This episode, recorded in April 2025, features Shannon. Shannon, now from the Central Coast, birthed as a surrogate in Sydney in December 2023 for her sister and brother-in-law, Billie and Rob. They had a little girl, Weston, and she also has four children of her own. You may have seen their team featured on Channel 9’s show, Big Miracles. If you’d like to watch their story, be sure to check it out on 9 Now, Big Miracles, Season 3, Episodes 4 and 5.

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You can hear from her intended mother, her sister, Billie, in the next episode 102. I hope you enjoy this episode.

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Thank you for joining us Shannon. So you carried for your sister Billie. guess take us back to the beginning. At some point in time you offered to Billie and because you knew as she grew up that she wasn’t able to carry for herself because she was born without a uterus. Is that something that sat in your mind while you were having your own children that at some point you might offer? Because we were both young when she obviously found out that she was born without the uterus. It wasn’t something that kind of crossed our mind. we never, no one ever really spoke about it. And at that time I really didn’t know about surrogacy or even think about

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anything like that because at the time obviously I hadn’t had children of my own. It wasn’t until I had fallen pregnant with my first son, obviously I was very young and there was that little bit of you know that am I ready? I don’t quite remember it, it’s obviously something that I’ve blocked.

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out but I remember at one stage I was a little bit like hesitant I was like I’m not ready to be a mom I’m still young like I’ve still got my whole life ahead of me and Billie had made a comment you know well if you don’t want to have this baby I will so there was like

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a little, like there was a comment there and that’s kind of what made me realize like, can I go ahead and do something that my sister can’t do? I just, that there made my decision for me. I was like, I can’t put myself through terminating or, you know, giving up this child when my little sisters, she, she can’t even have the chance, the opportunity to be a mom. And here I am.

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pregnant like saying, I don’t really know if I want this baby. So I think there was like a big thing like, and I don’t even remember that conversation. It was actually my mom that told me that conversation. Cause I’d obviously just blocked it out. Cause I was like, how could I ever have like, you know, thought like that and stuff like that. And then obviously after I’d had my, I’ve got four kids. So after I had finished having my last, which was a twin pregnancy and had three Caesareans at the time I was with my kid’s dad.

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we decided we didn’t, you know, that was it. So yeah, when I decided to have my tubes tied, that was when I kind of was like, okay, I’m done. Like I knew Billie’s, like my sister’s dream was to always be a mom. And I used to always say to her, even through school to like my friends and that I was like, no, she doesn’t have nothing to worry about. I’ll make her dream come true one way or another. At that time, I really didn’t know about surrogacy. So we’d actually,

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one stage plan to fly to Queensland so that we actually ended up flying to Queensland because I was actually going to donate my uterus to her. So we had flown to Queensland, we had spoken to the surgeons and stuff and everything was perfect. Everything had gone so well. And then it wasn’t until my mom had mentioned something and she was like, you know, if you know, this didn’t work, like, could I donate my uterus? And then my mom, like they turned around to my mom and was like, no, like, you know, unless you’ve had one cesarean, then

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anything more than that, then like we can’t do it. And then we all kind of just looked at each other and I was like, oh, well, I’ve had three cesareans, which was all written in the letter that Billie had wrote to them. It was just all a misunderstanding. They didn’t quite see that part. yeah, like, so that there was like a moment where like, we kind of felt like our dreams had, we’d gotten so far. We’d flown to Queensland. Everything was going so perfect. And then the look on Billie’s face that day, it was, oh, I don’t even like just, she was absolutely devastating.

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And I just looked at her and like that right there. And then I was like, you know what, Billie, this, this wasn’t meant to be. We’ll find another way. I’ll carry a baby for you. And she just kind of like looked at me and she was like, what? And I was like, well, if we can’t do it this way, we’ll do it a different way. Like regardless of how long it takes or how we have to do it, like your, dreams are going to come true. Don’t ever give up on them dreams. And then, yeah, that’s when I had made my decision. I was like, you know, that’s it. Like, let’s, do surrogacy and the weird kind of learn a bit more into that and stuff.

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that and then yeah went from there. Fantastic that’s a great story thank you for sharing that backstory how it evolved as a family yeah uterus transplant trials that I’ve heard about and yeah what the conditions are to be able to to be a part of that and then yeah here you are you still helped your sister you know. Yeah.

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I think in a way I’m glad that that I think it was meant to be that way. Like me and Billie sit there and we sit like we talk about it all the time. We’re like, think in a way, because what happens if I did go through with the uterus transplant and it didn’t work? Well, then I wouldn’t have got the opportunity to carry a baby for my sister. So they say things happen for a reason. And I believe that that.

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wasn’t meant to go. That’s not how this was meant to go down. Like I was meant to be a surrogate for my sister and this is how we were meant to bring my niece into the world and their daughter. Wow, what a beautiful story. And so then we might go to some of the photos then that you shared with us. So you had to go through the counseling and the legal, like every surrogacy team has to and engaging with the IVF clinic, but having a camera crew.

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with you for so much of that. But as we were talking beforehand going, they film so much, but just a little amounts get put into the final footage, don’t they? But yeah, yeah, that’s right. Obviously quite a lot has to happen, as we said, with the counseling legals and the IVF. And so is this a photo of the embryo transfer day? Yes. And so not having needed IVF yourself to have your own kids, it’s quite clinical in some ways, isn’t it? Having to go through that. One thing I joked about is, you know, usually in the past when I got pregnant, it was usually

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only one other person in the room but here you are in a room with a oh we had there was a lot of people in that room that day and and none of them was the father of your actual own children no definitely not no so yeah a very joyful moment and then um so then you became pregnant and so it worked first embryo transfer is that’s right yeah correct

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Yes. That weight, you know, the two week weight as they often talk about it is so nerve wracking for everybody. Yeah, it is. Which people can see on Big Miracles. Here’s a cheeky question. Did you pee on a stick beforehand and know secretly that you were pregnant? No, I didn’t. I promised I made a promise to Billie. So that was something that we promised together. And I was like, I’m telling you now, it was very, very hard not to. Especially.

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When going through obviously pregnancies of your own, you know all the symptoms, you know. It was really weird because it was, I’d say probably five days after the transfer, I started having like so many symptoms. Like I was vomiting in the morning. I was going to the toilet more often. And I remember kept saying to Billie, was like, you know, I was like, I’m telling you, I’m pregnant. She was like, how would you even know? Like she’s like, it’s too early. And I’m like, no, I’m telling you.

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So there was like that, feeling of like my body, like I just, had that feeling of like, knew that I was, but it wasn’t confirmed and having all them symptoms and everything’s like that and not being able to like, you know, peel one of them sticks to know it was so hard not to. But it was a promise that we made and we wanted to do together and share that moment together or finding out. Cause obviously that was something we had to find out with our film crew. So it was a very

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different process. was we had to wait for the bloods to come in and everything like that. So it was just, it was very, very hard for us, but we, we stuck by it. We kept our promise together and we waited until we had that phone call.

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Wonderful and then very joyful for everybody. So then we’ll work our way through these photos and so well obviously these photos are some maternity photos but when you’re quite far along but just can you give us a snapshot of what the pregnancy was like was it similar to your own or a bit harder because it had been a few years since you’d had your girls? Um I have to say it was probably one of my easiest pregnancies um yeah it was very so my pregnancy I didn’t really have much complications and stuff with my pregnancies except for when my my last pregnancy which was

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twins, I ended up with help syndrome. So I delivered at 34 weeks. So I think in the back of my mind, I obviously had that fear of something going wrong because of delivering so early with my twins. So yeah, that was a massive big fear in the back of my head. Cause I was like, you know, like I just wanted everything to go so perfect. And even though I had all these things going through my mind of, know, what if

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about this or what if this happens and stuff like that. This pregnancy had to have been the best pregnancy I’ve ever had. it sounds like it was a very supportive team. So Billie was hands-on and wanting to support and your mum was around too. Yes, I had so much support around me. Billie was by my side every step of the way and that was with everything. Like we called every day, you know, should pop over. I was still working. So, you know, it was every day after work. She’d call me and ask

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how my day was, how I was feeling. My mom too, like I was, I spoke to my mom every day. Even Rob, Rob was amazing. Like my brother-in-law, he would, he would even send me Snapchat to be like, how are you feeling today? Like, you know, the support from my family was absolutely unreal. I like, honestly couldn’t have done it without them.

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Yeah, well sounds like that’s a great way to do it because you feel like yeah, that emotional support. Any physical supports that you remember in terms of helping with things around the house or cooking or if you were tired, help Billie would come over and help clean. She was amazing. She used to be a cleaner, so she come and did all like my shower. She did my oven for me. She even did like the outside of the window. She got out on ladders and like cleaned the whole like she was amazing. Um, her and my mom come over and I just sat up on the lounge. She was like, put your feet up.

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And yeah, they cleaned my whole house. They did the kids rooms. They were absolutely amazing. Whatever I needed. Like they, especially Billie . Billie was the most amazing person ever. Like she was just unreal. And in some ways by her supporting you, she is supporting her.

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daughter, her unborn child, because she’s nurturing you, which, you know, gets passed on. So correct. Yeah, was. I tried to include Billie and everything. Like it was very hard, obviously. think my hardest thing was obviously knowing Billie wanted something so bad and her not being able to experience the things that I was experiencing. So I tried to include her in everything. Like even if it was just, you know, a slight little movement that I would feel like I’ll be straight on the phone to her and be like,

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Oh my God. you know, even though in parts of me would be like, Oh, I felt like I was kind of rubbing it in, but Billie loved all that. She loved hearing the little things. would get to the point. I would even FaceTime her when I was vomiting in the toilet. I’m being sick. Your daughter. So it was like, I would literally like every little thing. It’d be certain foods. I’d be like, Oh, your daughter doesn’t like this or certain songs. Like my sister’s like is obsessed with Keith Urban. She loves all these songs. She’s gone to every.

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concert and that’s one of the things that I used to play all the time like and I used to play it on my phone and put it to my belly like because I was like you know she’s gonna be a little Keith Urban level just like you so yeah like I used to play that all the time and it was really funny because every time the songs would come on she used to kick like crazy and I would say to my sister she loves it she’s gonna be a little like you know country girl she loves all the songs that you love and she’s like really and I’m like yeah and to the point we even bought a thing to listen to the heartbeat so every time Billie come over she

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got to listen to the heartbeat. It was just, the bond that we had. And I tried to include her in everything possible just so that she felt like she was connected to her. Cause I know how much she wanted something and the fact that obviously she couldn’t share what, you know, I was going through. just, yeah, I tried to make it as real and you know, her is involved as possible. So even though it was really hard to try and do that because you know, especially sometimes when she kicked and she’d have the hand off.

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she wouldn’t want a cake.

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So was trying to get them moments and you know, I would send videos to her and yeah, was, we tried, it wasn’t a day that went by that we didn’t communicate or you know, know what was going on. She knew everything. Well done. Oh, it sounds like you’ve navigated this really well as a team. We’ll keep moving through these beautiful photos. A little bit backwards in time now, gender reveal. That was a pretty sick day for you all I bet. It was definitely. Yep. Lots of friends and family were there too. I saw when I watched Big Miracles. Yes, there was. Yes. And then there’s some photos of you being pregnant, taking

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like selfies, bump photos and yeah.

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So I guess everybody at work knew that you were having a surrogate pregnancy too? Yes, they did. Yeah. So even because I worked in a school canteen, so even the kids at school, they knew all about it. I made it very, everyone that asked me, oh my God, like you’re pregnant. How far are you? And I was like, not my baby. And they would kind of just look at you like, pardon? And I was like, I’m pregnant, but it’s not my baby. And they’re like, what do you mean? And I’m like, you know, it’s my sister’s baby. And they’ll be like, they’ll look at you like as if so confused. And I was like, well, I’m doing surrogacy. It’s her baby, her egg.

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You know, everything’s, I’m just a little oven. I’m just the oven. And they would still just look at you and just like complete shock. Like just have no idea what you were talking about. And I’m like, and then I would like have to go through the process and try and explain everything. They’ll be like, Oh my God.

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That was, yeah, I made it very, very clear. That was one thing that I never ever turned around and was like, you know, thank you or anything like that. I, as soon as someone asked me that question, I’d be like, not my baby. looks and stuff that I used to get when I used to say that. And I was just like, you know, I had to be open and honest. I’d never, you know, turn around and me as a teacher to all the kids that I taught, you know, in the school.

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Watch me be pregnant and you yourself have been an educator then that you have educated all those kids and potentially their families of that surrogacy does happen here in Australia and explaining it all and then it will to grow in somebody else will mean Billie actually because they do obviously in the high schools they do obviously about like Pregnancies and stuff like that mean Billie actually went and did like a little thing in the school because obviously they knew about it and they asked us to come in and we’d obviously brought like Weston in my sister come and they got to ask us all like different questions

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questions about how, um, you know, what the process and, know, how it made me feel and how Billie was. And, know, there was lots of tears and guess so. And then kids like, absolutely loved every moment of that because they got to experience it firsthand.

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having someone, you know, who’s actually physically been through it. so yeah, being able to ask the questions that they needed to know on that day was yeah, really good. And they were absolutely loved every minute of it because, know, they got to meet an actual surrogate. Like, you know, someone who’s gone through surrogacy and then obviously someone who’s.

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had a surrogate and had a baby from that. it was, yeah, it was really so good to do something like that. Cause it teaches the kids about stuff like that. It is an opportunity to educate. Great work team. Having been on the TV show. So we’re moving on now to the date birth. So it was another planned cesarean. And I love this photo because it’s the camera crew that were on. That was a really joyful day for everybody involved, the midwives and.

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crew. Yeah, it definitely was. And so then yes, into theatre and then the little girl, Weston’s born and you made your sister a mum, hey, how do you feel when you look at these photos? Oh, these photos are absolutely, this is a day that I will never forget. I remember being on the operating theatre and Billie holding my hand throughout the whole thing. I remember looking at her and Billie always had that fear of what if I don’t have that connection with her? And I used to always say to her, I was like, Billie , I was like, you know, they always say the saying of

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A mother becomes a mother when the minute they fall pregnant and a father becomes a father. The minute they lay eyes on their baby. And I’m like, yours is just a little bit different. said, you’re going to be like the minute you lay eyes on that little girl. said, your, your world’s going to turn upside down. Like you are just going to feel a love. And I used to say to her, I’m like, can’t explain that love Billie until you get to experience that yourself. And she’s like, what do you mean though? And I remember that day as soon as I just remember looking at my sister and I’m like, she’s, could feel the, you know, that was, she was Nellie.

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out and I just looked at Billie I’m like you’re gonna feel that that feeling in a minute and she’s like what do you mean as soon as they drop that curtain and then they pulled her up Billie just looked at me and just cried and she’s like I know that

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feeling like, it was just that that moment and seeing her become a mom and she’s waited her whole life for that moment. And it was just the most magical moment. And I’ve just thought to myself, I’m like, I’ve done it. Like I’ve made, like I’ve made her dream come true. And that was the best feeling in the world. You did it, my friend. did it. You made it. Dream come true. One of the psychologists that specializes in surrogacy, she has a saying that essentially babies are made in the body as well as

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in the mind and usually a keeper child you grow that baby in your body and in your mind but in surrogacy those things are separate and so your sister was growing her baby in her vision of her in her arms and then these photos your sister Billie and husband Rob they have their baby in their arms yeah yeah and as you said there you know that was such a great day for you because you did it you gave the gift of life and yeah

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Being your niece, you continue to have catch-ups with her. So then we’ve got some beautiful photos here from hospital and when she’s little and you having cuddles. And again, when you look at these photos, what do you think and feel? Oh, I just, I don’t know, I can’t even express it really. It’s amazing the fact that, you know, I grew my niece inside my stomach. Like, you know, it’s an amazing feeling to know that I brought her into this world to give my sister that chance to be a mum.

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It’s just a feeling, I guess you can’t, I can’t even explain unless you’d probably know yourself, like unless you’ve gone through that, you can’t, you can’t express that feeling unless you have experienced it yourself. It’s a feeling that you will never forget. You will always remember. And it’s just a love. And yeah, like the bond that I share with my niece is absolutely unreal. Like I share a very close bond with her. We are inseparable. Yeah, we, we FaceTime all the time and stuff like that. So it’s just, yeah.

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and the most amazing feeling in the world. That’s good. And these photos here of your kids holding your niece too. That’s pretty special seeing your kids holding her. Yeah it is. Yeah. And of course, you know, sometimes people wonder, how have your own kids gone with surrogacy? But kids are better than adults I find sometimes that they… My kids were, we were very open and honest with our, like the kids from day dot. They absolutely love their little cousin. They absolutely adore her. And then you did some photos post-birth of Western War. Quite a few months old here, but you’re part of those.

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Yeah. And then as she continues to grow up and having, you know.

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Coffee moments, the two of you together? Yeah. The last photo here is of the breast milk journey that you went on. And so you sent me quite a few photos of you pumping milk, like while camping and all different places in your life. so tell everybody listening, how long did you pump milk for Shannon? Just over eight months. That’s incredible. Absolutely incredible. Basically about the same amount of time she was in you as out. Yeah. Was there a motivator for deciding to go that long or you just decided to just keep going?

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was actually born, I started hand expressing and I was lucky enough to get 200 mils. So that’s how it all started because obviously I wanted to give my niece the best start at life. I have nothing against people using formula. Some people have to do that. But in my sense, I wanted to give her that chance to have the breast milk. I never really got to express or breastfeed my own children. So I think I had a

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I had a set goal and I was like, you know, it was something I wanted to do. didn’t plan on doing it for as long as I did. Um, that was just something that kind of, just kept going. I had so much milk supply. Um, as Billie used to call me the Jersey cow. Yeah. It just got to the point where I remember in hospital, like after I’d had her and I was trying to express and my milk hadn’t come in yet. And I was so emotional because I had such high, you know, thoughts of this is something I wanted to do. My milk wasn’t in. And then all of a sudden.

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I was like two days later. she didn’t have to, I think she used formula for, I think it was half a day. So for the first two days she was on the breast milk. There was enough breast milk to last the two days, what I’d expressed before she was born. And then obviously I then continued to keep breast milk. Like I had the hands-free breast pumps.

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which were a lifesaver. still got to do my everyday things. I used to go to work and just put them in. Um, no one even knew I was doing it. It was awesome. And I was getting so much milk. Like I was getting at least probably two to three liters a day. Like I was some, there was some days like it got to the point where like I had my freezer. So there was a freezer inside. had my back freezer. There was

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Billie’s freezer at home. Like I had milk everywhere. It was just hum. I was getting up every two to three hours to express. So even though I didn’t have her there with me, it was, would call Billie . I’d be on the phone to her and I’d be like, what are you doing? And she’d be like, I’m not feeding her. And I’m like, I’m just expressing. So we would have them little phone calls and stuff. And yeah, obviously I ended up with mastitis. think.

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Oh God, I would have had that about five times. Um, yeah. So, and I was on antibiotics and, but I pushed through it. I still, I was told don’t stop expressing. have to keep that milk supply going. And I did. And yet got to the point. The only reason I had stopped at eight months is my milk supply got low. I tried the tablets. I tried everything and it just, it was getting less and less, which was very emotional. That was probably my hardest thing.

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It’s an end to the journey in some ways. Yeah. So I think, yeah, it was, that was probably my, my most hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do was give up that, but Billie made that milk last until she was 12 months. So there was enough milk to last.

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her until she hit 12 months and that was my goal. Um, I wanted to do it for 12 months and she made it last to 12 months. So, um, I hit my goal and I was really proud about that. And so yeah, yeah, no, was, that was probably, yeah, I love doing that. And I remember I actually, there was a video of me taking my last milk out and it was a big bag, like one of the big, one of them big Costco bags and it was filled to the top. And I did my last trip to Billie . was bawling my eyes out in the car.

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I had exactly the same like yeah the last time everyone’s like why are you crying over milk and even when I would like take my breast pump off and it would like I would open the thing and it would spill I would cry and everyone’s like why are you crying and I’m like because you don’t understand yep that time you’re allowed to cry over spilled milk absolutely

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Wonderful. There’s a couple of questions here that I’ll read out. I might be able to answer some of them quickly. There’s also in the chat, people are saying, thank you, well done, beautiful story. Shannon, thank you for sharing that. So thank you. Anonymous asks, do we know of any surrogate teams where the IPs, despite counseling, are still struggling to come to terms with not being able to carry a baby themselves? Does surrogacy get ruled out as an option until the IPs can overcome that? Anonymous, I hope by listening here tonight that you’ve heard a great story of Shannon and her sister, Billie , that grief can be overcome.

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you can learn to embrace the pregnancy in another person. But personally, no, I don’t know of any teams where if you can’t overcome that, it would definitely get picked up in counseling and you wouldn’t be approved for surrogacy. So it might be something you still need to keep working through. We’re actually going to have Billie on as a co-host in two weeks time. So that might be a great one to attend the webinar and ask Billie .

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that specific question. Leanne asks, is it seen as acceptable for the IPs to continue trying to get pregnant themselves while also being in a surrogacy agreement? That’s a great question, Leanne. I would say no. Admittedly, in my eight years in the community, I can probably think of at least four times off the top of my head that has happened where the IPs have fallen pregnant themselves during a surrogate pregnancy. It’s quite frowned upon because you are now, and quite often you’re probably gonna be a high risk pregnancy, because clearly you had issues to get pregnant in the first place. You now have your own pregnancy to manage as a

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IP and you could be high risk. You’re therefore not able to support your surrogate fully in the way that you had planned as a team. That’s not really fair on her. So that’s something to really consider. Some people therefore carry for gay IPs so that doesn’t happen. I know of one surrogate where that happened to in the second time she was a surrogate that’s specifically why she went with gay IPs. So Jason asks, now this is interesting Jason, your wife and you are based in Tasmania and your IPs. Your best friend, she lives in New South Wales, she’s keen to be your surrogate. Are there any

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legal or logistical issues to be aware of with interstate arrangements. Yes, Jason, unfortunately, you are asking the one specific question for Tasmania. This is one rule that needs to be updated. If you are Tasmanian IPs, you have to have a Tasmanian surrogate. It is ridiculous because you are so isolated in Tasmania as it is. If there’s a surrogate in Tasmania, she can carry for IPs anywhere in Australia. Ridiculous. So Jason, my thoughts on that are, could your friend have an address in Tasmania and for the purposes of

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the surrogacy agreement and you’ll people do this because WA for example don’t let the gay guys yet. There’s a last date on that one. I know of people that relocate to South Australia to make this happen. Finding a surrogate is probably the hardest part of this journey so if you have one you move heaven and earth to make this happen my friend. Or feel free to join SAS and I can help navigate you through this and point you in the direction of some legal advice. So I hope that helps Jason. You might need to start doing a little bit more googling. Leanne says is the Facebook group that I referenced earlier the link

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Yes, there are two main groups, but the one I would recommend joining is it’s called ASD, so Australian Surrogacy and Donation. So yes, the link that you put there, Leanne, is spot on. And Brendan asks, hi, and I’m just curious if the success rate for IPs being matched with surrogates if joining SAS. Great question, Brendan. Everybody that’s attended this webinar gets put on the mailing list. You can unsubscribe if you want to. And in that end of each month, there’s a link to the monthly report. I mean, you can find it on the Surrogacy Australia website under SAS anyway, and you can look through the monthly reports

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and see the numbers of people we’re dealing with. It’s hard to answer that as a rate, partly because bearing in mind out of say the 120 births each year in Australia, 75 % of them are with people that they know. So the SAS matches are only with a smaller percentage. You’re in with a chance. You’re either gonna meet an unknown surrogate through a Facebook group or through SAS, but joining SAS is not just about the match. It’s about, we educate you about how surrogacy works, how you’re gonna find your own surrogate potentially outside of SAS. And then some people,

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meet their surrogate in the community and come back to SAS because you like the support. So yes, matching is part of it, but it’s not the be all and end all. If you come in with that learning about how surrogacy works. So I hope that sort of helps that question or not. In these webinars, we never know what the questions are going to be. so sometimes they’re about your journey. Sometimes there’s surrogacy in general. that’s why I asked them. Yeah. No, it’s interesting to listen to stuff like that too, like in getting your answers to that as well. Like it’s quite interesting.

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Did a classic question people sometimes ask surrogates, did you struggle to hand over the baby? I think we can hear that you didn’t. No, definitely not. That was probably one of the easiest things I’ve ever had to do. Yes. And it was really funny because a lot of people used to ask me when I was pregnant, how I felt, did I feel like it was my baby? And the answer to that is definitely no. It was a

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very different love. It’s so hard to explain, but with my children, when I was pregnant with them, I had that instant love and connection and that mother’s love. I didn’t have that with my, my sisters, like, you know, carrying my niece. I didn’t have a mother’s love. I had the love there. It was, you know, but it was a very different love and it was a lot of, yeah, it was, it was just, was so, so very different. And yeah, a lot of people used to ask me like, how do you feel like, and my biggest thing was, you

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I was really scared of how I was going to be after having her. It was the unknown. I didn’t know how I was going to be. didn’t know if I was going to have post-natal depression or any of that stuff where I was lucky enough. had so much support and in my sense, true, it was my niece. So I didn’t just hand her over and never seen her again. I have such a very close bond with her and I see her all the time and we FaceTime.

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And even still now, like I don’t have that when I like see her or hold her or anything like that. It’s not, you were once mine or, know, anything like that. It’s, know, I see her as my niece and that’s, that’s the only way I see her. I don’t see her any other way.

29:38
That is so well summed up. I think for new IPs and surrogates listening tonight, hearing you describe that is how so many surrogates feel it. But it must be reassuring for people at the beginning to go, Oh, wow. Hearing how a surrogate feels about that child is really reassuring that yes, there’s love, but it’s not a mother’s love. It’s an auntie’s Definitely not. Yeah. And yeah, that’s really valuable for people to hear. So thank you for sharing that. Well, well done on a fantastic journey there. Your family has grown and you sound like you’re all

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are still very close and keeping in contact. So this little girl, Weston, will grow up knowing her beautiful story of how she came to be in this world. Yeah, well, a lot of photos and there’s obviously, she’s got actually photos hanging in a room of me pregnant with her. So she’s got the maternity shoot. She’s got, you know, the after. So she will definitely know, you know, how she was brought into this world, like our whole journey. Can’t wait to experience that with her when she’s old enough to understand. But yeah, we’ve made it so that, you know, there is a journey for her

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to be able to look back on and she will be able to follow that journey and be able to watch it unfold and stuff. So whether it’s just photos or, and we’ve got photos from day dot, like Billie had my belly shot. So it’s literally from like eight weeks all the way up every week she got a belly shot. So she’s got all of that to look back on. Beautiful. Well, what a great team. Well done. And thank you for joining us here. No, you’re welcome. Thank you so much for having me.

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Thank you for joining me. If you’d like to see the photos shared in this webinar presentation, head over to our YouTube channel to watch the webinar. You can head to surrogacyaustralia.org for more information about surrogacy. Also check out our Zoom monthly catch-up sessions, which are a great way to connect with others in the surrogacy community. Attending a Zoom is scary the first time, but there’s only ever one first time. We have all been beginners at some stage. As we say, it takes a village to raise a child.

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And in the case of surrogacy, it takes a village to make a child. So welcome to the village.