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Episode 74 – Education – Do you keep in touch with the surrogate?

Three parents through surrogacy share their own thoughts on this question.

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This page is part of a series of surrogacy education episodes from Anna. On the main podcast page you will find recent episodes and links to other categories: surrogates, gay dads, straight mums and guest / theme.

Join Anna McKie in conversation with surrogates and parents who have navigated Australian altruistic surrogacy. Anna is a gestational surrogate, high school Math teacher and surrogacy educator working with Surrogacy Australia and running SASS (Surrogacy Australia’s Support Service). 

The other episodes of the podcast were recorded as part of our free, fortnightly webinar series. If you would like to attend one, check out our dates and registration links. The recordings can also be found on our YouTube channel so you can see the photos that are described in the recordings.
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TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE

00:06
Do you keep in touch with the surrogate? Three parents through surrogacy share their own thoughts on this question. Yes, we definitely stay in touch. Our surrogate is like an auntie figure in our child’s life and we cherish that bond. We’ve grown closer to her and consider her a dear friend. So we make sure to catch up with her regularly, just like we would with any close friends, whether it’s grabbing some dinner together, having a play date at the park with the kids or getting together during school holidays for some fun.

00:35
we’ve maintained a wonderfully healthy relationship that we’re proud of. Parent number two, we keep in touch with each other on a regular basis and we send her photos so she can see how amazing the little human she created for our family is thriving. As a team, we kept our communications around this topic open as our surrogate wanted to gauge how she felt at the end of the process. We now aim for school holiday catch-ups as her life is exceptionally busy with three kids. And parent number three,

01:03
For us, there was never a question of not keeping in touch with our surrogate post-birth. Becoming part of each other’s families during the surrogacy journey, it just felt natural to continue that relationship. Plus, we felt it important for our daughter’s sense of identity as she grows. Our daughter has another aunt, and uncle and cousins. We talk often and see each other whenever we can. Surrogacy grew our family in more ways than one. My thanks to these three parents for sharing their thoughts and lived experiences.

01:31
As a surrogate myself, I can answer for my own journey, but I can also draw on the hundreds of teams I’ve witnessed or have become friends with since 2016 when I joined the surrogacy community. Yes, the vast majority of surrogacy teams keep in contact. This is in the best interests of the child born from surrogacy, as well as for the surrogate and her own children too. If you’re looking to explore these ideas in more depth, in episode 15, I share thoughts from other surrogates on the question, do you get to see the baby?

02:01
and episode 18, What if the relationship dissolves post-birth? If you’d prefer to see three surrogates talk about it in video format, google search for interview with a surrogate to find a Q&A style video similar to the format you can’t ask that, created by community member Tyson Smith. If you are finding these discussions useful, I would love it if you could leave a review wherever you listen to this show and you can find more information at surrogacyaustralia.org

02:29
If you’re looking for more guidance on how to navigate surrogacy in Australia, please check out SASS, Surrogacy Australia’s support service, so you can have me as your navigation tool on this journey. Until next time, welcome to the village.

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Looking to find a surrogate in Australia? Consider joining ⁠SASS⁠.

Looking for an overview of surrogacy? Join us in a free, fortnightly Wednesday night ⁠webinar⁠.

Looking to chat with other IPs and surrogates in a casual setting? Join us for a monthly ⁠Zoom⁠ catch up, one Friday of each month. 

Looking to hear stories from parents through surrogacy and surrogates? Listen to our ⁠podcast⁠ series or watch episodes on our ⁠YouTube⁠ channel. 

Looking for support one-on-one? Register for ⁠SASS⁠ to connect with me – your Siri for Surrogacy, or book in for a private consultation ⁠sass@surrogacyaustralia.org