Episode 65 – Education How do you repay someone for the gift of life?

Three parents through surrogacy share their own thoughts on this question.


This page is part of a series of surrogacy education episodes from Anna. On the main podcast page you will find recent episodes and links to other categories: surrogates, gay dads, straight mums and guest / theme.

Join Anna McKie in conversation with surrogates and parents who have navigated Australian altruistic surrogacy. Anna is a gestational surrogate, high school Math teacher and surrogacy educator working with Surrogacy Australia and running SASS (Surrogacy Australia’s Support Service). 

The other episodes of the podcast were recorded as part of our free, fortnightly webinar series. If you would like to attend one, check out our dates and registration links. The recordings can also be found on our YouTube channel so you can see the photos that are described in the recordings.
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How do you repay someone for the gift of life? Three parents through surrogacy share their own thoughts on this question. Parent one, I would say that you can never really repay someone for the gift of life. All you can do is value the gift by being the best parent you can, making sure the gift is treasured. Parent number two, the only way we know how to do this is by being good parents and raising our child to know about his village, their important roles in our lives, and how much we love that village.

Regular and meaningful interactions with your village and showing appreciation and gratitude by keeping in contact with everyone is a major part of more than just showing gratitude. It allows our child to know and understand his origins as he grows. And parent number three, through heartfelt gratitude, celebrating the big milestones together, providing continuous support and celebrating the journey you’ve all had together. The key for our team was understanding our surrogate’s love language and even four years later,

Words of affirmation and quality time is how we express that love and gratitude to our surrogate. As a surrogate myself, I can answer for my own team and journey, but I’m also friends with many surrogates and parents through the community since 2016. For me, regular contact is key. But then again, what is regular contact for you? What is it for me? And in what format? Is it text messages, cards, group chats in messenger, words of appreciation?

sharing memes and gifts together? Is it in-person catch-ups, video calls, phone calls or voice messages? And how often? Weekly? Monthly? Once a year? I recommend that the type and frequency of communication gets discussed as a team before pregnancy attempts, during pregnancy, and then revisited post-birth. This idea could be called team culture, and you can hear more about that in episode 63 when surrogacy psychologist Katrina Hale unpacked this idea.

It is really powerful and I strongly recommend you have a listen whether you’re an IP, an intended parent, a surrogate or a surrogacy team. If you are enjoying this podcast, I kindly ask that you share it with others or leave a rating or a review wherever you listen to the show. If you’re looking for more support from me one on one, register for SASS at surrogacyaustralia.org and think of me as your Siri for surrogacy. Until next time, welcome to the village.


Looking to find a surrogate in Australia? Consider joining ⁠SASS⁠.

Looking for an overview of surrogacy? Join us in a free, fortnightly Wednesday night ⁠webinar⁠.

Looking to chat with other IPs and surrogates in a casual setting? Join us for a monthly ⁠Zoom⁠ catch up, one Friday of each month. 

Looking to hear stories from parents through surrogacy and surrogates? Listen to our ⁠podcast⁠ series or watch episodes on our ⁠YouTube⁠ channel. 

Looking for support one-on-one? Register for ⁠SASS⁠ to connect with me – your Siri for Surrogacy, or book in for a private consultation ⁠sass@surrogacyaustralia.org