Episode 25 – Education – Are you jealous when another woman carries your baby
Each mum is different and it’s ok to have lots of different feelings. Mums through surrogacy may feel some initial jealousy, but they soon move past this and embrace the unique and beautiful way of bringing a child into this world. Engaging in some counselling with an experienced surrogacy counsellor is recommended to work through these feelings.
One mum through surrogacy, Elle, talks about her feelings of jealousy in podcast Episode 16.
This page is part of a series of surrogacy education episodes from Anna. On the main podcast page you will find recent episodes and links to other categories: surrogates, gay dads, straight mums and guest / theme.
Join Anna McKie in conversation with surrogates and parents who have navigated Australian altruistic surrogacy. Anna is a gestational surrogate, high school Math teacher and surrogacy educator working with Surrogacy Australia and running SASS (Surrogacy Australia’s Support Service).
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Are you jealous when another woman carries your baby? Each mum is different and it’s okay to have lots of different feelings about this. Mums through surrogacy may feel some initial jealousy, but they do soon move past this and embrace the unique and beautiful way of bringing a child into this world. Engaging in some counselling with an experienced surrogacy counsellor is recommended to work through these feelings. I’m a surrogate myself, so I guess I can never truly speak to being in this situation.
but I’ve gathered together some ideas and thoughts and wisdom from other women within the community. One mum through surrogacy, Elle, talks about her feelings of jealousy in podcast episode 16, which you might like to go back and have a listen to. I asked another mum her thoughts on this question about the jealousy feelings and here’s her replies. It really depends on the individual, but you need to remember that by the time you’ve turned to surrogacy, you will already be dealing with your own grief.
Looking after your mental health is imperative when trusting another woman to carry your baby without offloading your grief onto her. Some IPs, Intended Parents, have private counseling prior to commencing surrogacy. This allows tools to be accessed when stepping into the world of surrogacy. Positive self-talk and honest communication is key, as well as talking with others going through a similar situation. Thank you to that mum for sharing her thoughts, and I’ll add…
that it’s okay to feel any emotion when you’re investigating surrogacy. You’re not born knowing how to feel about surrogacy or how to navigate through it. If you have recently been told that surrogacy is the path for you, consider some counseling with a counselor who specializes in surrogacy, not just one that specializes in IVF. Most specialist counselors do Zoom sessions so location is no problem across Australia. I run SASS, Surrogacy Australia’s support service.
And within that, we can recommend some counselors in your state, but let me name a few for you. If you’re in Sydney, Katrina Hale, if you’re in Brisbane, Narelle Dickinson, and if you’re in Melbourne, three great names to look up are Sarah-Jayne Duryea, Dr. Sarah Nowoweiski, and Rita Alesi. Are you actually wanting to virtually meet a counselor before booking your own session? Well, SAS members have access in our portal to recorded webinar sessions from some of these counselors that I’ve mentioned.
You can also have a search in our YouTube channel for some of those recordings. And SJ Jure from Melbourne was also featured on episode seven of this podcast series. If you are enjoying this podcast, I kindly ask that you share it with others or leave a rating or a review wherever you listen to this show. Until next time, welcome to the village.
Looking to find a surrogate in Australia? Consider joining SASS.
Looking for an overview of surrogacy? Join us in a free, fortnightly Wednesday night webinar.
Looking to chat with other IPs and surrogates in a casual setting? Join us for a monthly Zoom catch up, one Friday of each month.